My first...

Bridal Shower!

Well, since I was a kid.

I'm sure I was dragged to a bridal shower or 2...but I don't even remember, so they don't count.

(A brilliant philosophy if ya ask me!)

I received an invitation to the bridal shower of, lets see...oh yes, she has appeared on here before...

And what did I call her?!

Muffy Vagina!

I rock.

Anyway, Muffy is the Bride-to-Be. (totally sounds like a foofy dog name)

She's only 22!

She is the first person that I've actually hung out with in the last 10 years that is getting married.

Weird.

When I opened the invitation all the talk about the wedding and the day they got engaged flashed back to me and all of a sudden it became extremely REAL.

Then all I could think is...wow they are SO young.

To each his own, right?

If they're ready, that's great, but that thought sparked this one:

I am SO not ready for marriage anytime soon!

And I'm sorta single too, so that KINDA factors into it . . .

But then again, I'm in no hurry!

I know I'll be a wonderful wife, I love taking care of men etcetc. Just not yet.

Women get all weird at wedding related functions. (in case you haven't noticed)

Emotions or Hormones or some silly female thing like that

They start to think, 'Why hasn't it happened to me?!'

Why is she getting married before I am?! etcetc

Preposterous, ladies!

Stop thinking about yourself and be happy for the Bride & Groom!

Course there's always, 'So when are YOU getting married?'

To which I will valiantly reply:

Never! I'm going to be single, fabulous, fun, and vibrant until I'm old, then I'll just be single and bitter with 10 cats!

Sounds like a plan.