How bout we go our separate ways now?

So update on that whole Rock Bottom Brewery thing...

Julia called and left a message...I had a feeling about what she'd say when I called her back.

Blah blah blah, limited availability, blah blah blah, too long to get through training, blah blah blah, may have bit off more than you can chew, blah blah blah, let's just go our separate ways now, and if you're availability on Friday and Saturday night open up, do give us a call.

Um. Gee. Thanks.

I was recounting this whole thing to my one adorable and effeminate co-worker (who is, amazingly, straight) and what did he say?

I was just hired there!

With a hand flourish.

Not only is he surprisingly straight, he's also a man-whore.

How does that work? (total denial)

Anyway, I went on a date last Thursday night, I was all excited about it all week.

The Black Eyed Peas were in town that night.

I kinda wanted to go but had been dragging my feet on buying a ticket....

And now I wish I had gone.

The date was weird.

He took me to this nice little tapas place in the 'trendy' East Village, the food was fantastic, as expected.

Conversation came easily, so no problems there.

The things he talked about, however, kept throwing up red flags.

He reminded me that he had been drinking all day when we met the Saturday prior at around 10:30 pm

He didn't seem like it to me...

So, is drinking all day on a Saturday a normal thing for you or ??

Well, I don't drink during the week blah blah blah something about an addictive personality, but I really enjoy drinking because I start to think about things that I normally don't think about.

Like what?

Well, I just notice stuff, like little things, I'm more focused on what's going on around me and I start to ask myself questions about it, and then I discover how I feel about certain things and what my true opinions are on various topics.

So, you're saying you're more focused when you're drunk than when you're sober? You don't relax and just let go of all that stuff when you're drinking (like normal people)?

No, you mean that's what it's like for you when you're sober or drinking?

Yeah, I think most people use alcohol as an escape or way to relax. I always feel the tension in my shoulders melt away with my first drink.

Wow, it takes me quite a few to feel anything.

Even though you only binge-drink on the weekend?

Yep.

Ok, enough said.

Oh, then there was his highly annoying habit of telling me how different he is from everyone else.

No, really, like he totally IS a unique snowflake. And he doesn't do things like other people.

Finally I just snapped.

OK. I GET it. You're Different. Now quit talking about it and do something! Give me an example!

He shut up for a little bit.

Sigh.

Shoulda gone to BEP.

Yeah it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, but I’m going to go ahead and ignore that fact - - just act like I’ve been at it all along…

The restaurant for which I worked closed February 28^th, so after four months of being a server, I was out of a (second) job.

I kinda-sorta had something lined up, so I checked in with them and found out they had already hired someone.

But I have good sense on people. I let you know next week if she working out. (read with a Russian accent)

No biggie, right, I wouldn’t mind a weekend or two to myself.

Or so I thought.

After a few weeks of going nutso, with too much time on my hands and not enough to do (holy crap, like my day-job!) I started applying for server positions all over the place.

One of those places was Macaroni Grill.

Not the kind of place I patronize, I prefer to stay away from the big chains and go to local places instead.

But lots of people go there and there’s big $ potential.

I filled out the application, had a chat with a manager, then had to complete an Evaluation.

See they way it works is you fill out the Evaluation, they fax it to Headquarters, which runs it through a computer and it either comes back ‘Continue’ or ‘Discontinue’

No other information is given to the manager, just ‘Continue’ or ‘Discontinue’

The Evaluation was 200 fill-in-the-bubble questions, the first 30 of which were math related.

No calculator allowed.

Long division pretty much fried my brain.

The second set, about 70 questions, on reading and word comprehension.

The third, and most important set, 100 questions designed to determine how ‘service oriented’ you are.

It was obvious to me which answers to choose, but I think my brains were all worn out and some honesty creeped through.

One particular question I remember is True or False, I would rather be alone than do something I don’t want to do with others.

What the hell kind of question is that?!

If ‘others’ are gouging out each other’s eyes with soup spoons, then, yes, I’d rather be alone.

True or False: There are types of people I find difficult to get along with.

Only a brown-noser would answer False, cuz really, who doesn’t have difficulty with at least ONE type of person?

Anyway, the Evaluation took me an hour to complete and I was ready for a nap afterwards.

A few days later I call to get my results: Discontinue.

Macaroni Grill gave me an F.

Total Fail.

Wow.

Guess I’m not Macaroni Grill Material.

I didn’t want to go through five days of intensive training anyway.

I filled out a similar questionnaire for Rock Bottom Brewery, and was called for an interview!

Twice.

I have orientation at Rock Bottom this weekend.

They’re next door to each other.

So every time I go to work, my Epic FAIL is right there, staring me in the face.

Screw you, Macaroni Grill!