Thursday, November 30, 2006

Meeting Poop

The thing about meetings is they generate poop.

I mean more work.

Mostly for me.

But of course, when the meeting ends, it's not really over...

Now you have to gather up all your stuff and take it back to your desk

Then reorganize it.

Then take your notes and type them up or file them or both.

Then 'Identify Your Primary Action Items'

Egh. That made me feel dirty.

And not in a good way!

Disgusting Corporate Speak coming out of my brain via my lovely fingers.

What a process.

Course, I could come back to my desk and throw it in a labeled folder and forget about it until 2 hours before the next meeting and then rush through it all....

Nono, Spicy is organized.

So I'll go through all the mumbo-jumbo of typing up 'official' meeting notes and listing what everyone is supposed to do for next week etcetc

Maybe I've been infected by the Corporate Bug.

Maybe the latest motivational book they gave us is actually working.

It's called The Fred Factor btw.

You gain a 'Freducation'

We should all be Freds.

I think I'm brain dead.Grrr

Oh yeah, I shaved my kitties today.

Both of them, not just The Ugly One.

I caught Drooly at just the right moment...

This picture acurately captures her mood when I make her leave home!

Laugh at them in their new 'dos.

It'll make you feel better! (I do :)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Thanksgiving 2006

After a 5.5 hour drive with 2 cats, one of them drugged and fighting it, I finally arrived at my mother's house in Schaumburg, Illinois

Aaahhh Schaumburg.

Our relationship is ok. High School. The mall. A little love, a little hate.

But it's always great to see my mother!

She cooked a fantastic meal, the prep had already begun by the time I arrived, at 3.15 on Wednesday...

Homemade everything!Mom's Turkey

Stuffing from pumpernickle bread, with nuts and cranberries

Mashed potatoes

Green bean casserole - not one ingrediant from a can!

Chocolate cake

Berry Pie

And of course, a turkey.

It was wonderful.Gf, Bro, Mom

We even had some soup that I made!

(I was feeling cook-y one weekend and junked out on the Food Network...)

My brother's gf came, the best friend was still in bed after a late night...oh well

She's really nice and was actually TALKING unlike the last one!
Me, my Bro, Mom
She tried really hard and the effort was appreciated, his previous gf was a bit of an ice queen...

Here we are, all happy with our Cranberry Kir Royales

(fancy name for champagne with cranberry juice concentrate...)

A few hours of brainless television later,
it was time to head to my dad's thanksgiving...

We caught him carving the turkey a la Rocky Horror Picture Show

Dad and his turkey
His spread included:

2 kinds of stuffing

sweet potatoes

mashed potatoes

green bean casserole


apple pie and pumpkin pie

and the turkey...
Dad's Table
Now, normally dad is a great cook.

Not this year.

The turkey was juicy to the point of sliminess....and a tad too salty

The stuffing I had was saturated.

Like a bread sponge. gross.

The sweet potatoes were pretty the fuck do you do that?!

The green bean casserole was completely out of a can.

Before that was okay.

Before my mother's that is.

Now it's just Nasty, capital N, Nasty.

When I get her recipe, I'll post it.

It was that good.

Around 5 my bro, his gf, and I high tailed it out of there...

They still had to go to her parents' house!

I finished the last of the leftovers for lunch

They were delicious.

Monday, November 27, 2006

I'm out of my mind.

In a Zen sorta way...

Here was my cubicle before it was MINE:

Before 1

Before 2

Before 3

Very Boring!!

Now, BEHOLD, It has been made SPICY:

After 1

After 2

After 3

It's a sickness, being this creative with very few outlets....

See what happens when you leave me to my own devices!

I'm the envy of the office,
even if they did make fun of me the first 2 days!

(What's up with your mutant asparagus?)


Spicy, making nearby cubes look boring as hell since last week.

I rock!!

And here's the flickr page so you can see them side-by-side!

Thanksgiving update tomorrow!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A Spicy Thanksgiving

Spicy is off to Chicago for Thanksgiving with the family!

Momma Pi is sure to make some great stuff as she loves to cook :D

Thanksgiving was usually spent at my grandmother's house when I was growing up.

I dont' remember my mom making it that often, but after a Thanksgiving spent with a college boyfriend, the next year we went to my mom's...

And it was terrible!

She has since gone bonkers on the cooking and I can't wait to see this year's spread.

I've never made Thanksgiving dinner!

I'd like to try sometime...

When I have an apartment/house big enough and possibly closer to the family...

We've only had one
Mexican Thanksgiving. (I think)

Christmas is usually the bigger holiday on the Mexican side.

The feud between the parents on who's serving dinner first and at what time was settled pretty painlessly this year.


My brother is bringing his girlfriend.

This is the first year he's done that!

I'm bringing my cats.
(wow i feel like a total loser)

Yes. I'm going to drive to Chicago with my cats.

Fatty, or Drooly, as big as she is, is the fraidy-cat.

She's going to bitch and moan and fight the double dose of tranquilizers I'm going to give her.

Ugly, however, is happy as an ugly clam to travel.

In this picture, She is totally pumped about her Holiday Toy.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and remembers why we gorge ourselves and then pass out to a football game every year on the last Thursday of November!

Friday, November 17, 2006

This Week's Keyword Activity:

  1. puke sprinkler
  2. minidress shiny
  3. sick monkey funnies
  4. mucus monster

and my favorite:

5. smell a stripper's butt!

lol think I'll post these every week!

My first...

Bridal Shower!

Well, since I was a kid.

I'm sure I was dragged to a bridal shower or 2...but I don't even remember, so they don't count.

(A brilliant philosophy if ya ask me!)

I received an invitation to the bridal shower of, lets see...oh yes, she has appeared on here before...

And what did I call her?!

Muffy Vagina!

I rock.

Anyway, Muffy is the Bride-to-Be. (totally sounds like a foofy dog name)

She's only 22!

She is the first person that I've actually hung out with in the last 10 years that is getting married.


When I opened the invitation
all the talk about the wedding and the day they got engaged flashed back to me and all of a sudden it became extremely REAL.

Then all I could think they are SO young.

To each his own, right?

If they're ready, that's great, but that thought sparked this one:

I am SO not ready for marriage anytime soon!

And I'm sorta single too, so that KINDA factors into it . . .

But then again, I'm in no hurry!

I know I'll be a wonderful wife, I love taking care of men etcetc. Just not yet.

Women get all weird at wedding related functions. (in case you haven't noticed)

Emotions or Hormones or some silly female thing like that

They start to think, 'Why hasn't it happened to me?!'

Why is she getting married before I am?! etcetc

Preposterous, ladies!

Stop thinking about yourself and be happy for the Bride & Groom!

Course there's always, 'So when are YOU getting married?'

To which I will valiantly reply:

Never! I'm going to be single, fabulous, fun, and vibrant until I'm old, then I'll just be single and bitter with 10 cats!

Sounds like a plan.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Keep your ear to yourself?

Working in CubeLand, like Spicy does, you learn lots of things about your coworkers.

Even when you don't want to.

The opportunity to listen in on other people's phone conversations or face-to-face conversations is a daily one.

To Listen, or not to Listen?

Sometimes you can't help it.

Like when the subject directly affects you...

And even when it doesn't, if you hear hushed voices and maybe an almost silent sniffle or sob, your interest is piqued...

Do you turn down your music and be quiet, leaning closer to the wall next to the conversation?

Or try not to notice? Maybe turn up your music instead and start making noise?

hmmm time for a lesson in

Proper Cubicle Etiquette

No Eavesdropping, and especially no commenting or answering questions that you have eavesdropped on.

God damnit, I do it all the time...I'm such a smarty pants.

No food in your cubicle. Especially hot food. The aroma is distracting.

OK, I've been guilty of this before...and earlier today someone else had hot food and the smell drove me nuts!

Do not enter without acknowledgement! Knock on the frame or padded wall er whatever and get their attention first. . .

I'm NOTORIOUS for walking in and immediately asking questions.
But I'm working on it!

Don't Loiter!

I did that yesterday...someone was listening to voicemails and I wanted to give him something I loitered... wow I'm bad at this.

Keep your hands off of fellow Cubemonkeys' stuff! Do not help yourself to paperclips, scissors, etc...

I'm proud to say I don't do this....much

Don't talk through cube walls or congregate outside someone's cube.

GUILTY. like Multiple Times a Day Guilty.

Adorrable Bear and I always talk through the wall between us...our 'door frames' are popular places for the latest office banter or the Friday Afternoon at 4:30 Let's Waste Time Till 5 o'clock Conversation....

Hmmm, lots to learn yet...

We're gearing up for another Office Move!


Next Tuesday I get to pack up my shit and move to the other side of the floor!

But no fears! I bought A Book to help me make my new space Cozy!

No more window for Pi, I'll have to look over my right shoulder to see the outdoors. snifflesniffle

And my next cube is smaller...

And I'm sitting by the same group of people.

No new people to talk to.

I'll have to stop by cubes in other departments while on my way to and from the breakroom and the Printer...

Exercise! Hooray!

And if I'm still bored, there's always The Pimp My Cubicle Kit and various office warfare gadgets at ThinkGeek.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

CSR: Brian

OK I've been trying to post this for about a week, but work's been retardedly busy and I've only added to it as things developed. Sadly, no time for pics or pretty formatting. I'm posting it anyway. - I can't let it be this way, it's just not ME.

About two weeks ago, I turned on my tv and I didn't have a picture.

I had a guide for the cable, I could look at that all handy-dandy that it is, but I didn't have a PICTURE.

So I call the cable company.

Thank you for calling Medicaom this is Brian how can I help you?

Brian, I don't have a picture.

Ok let me take a look...

. . .

Looks like your account is DELINQUENT.

The way he said it made me feel like a BUM.

Delinquent?! But I've made payments!

It says your last payment was made in August.

After that I had to dig around for bank statements, check my bank website...then I figured out that I had made 2 payments to the wrong account number.

Good job, Spicy.

After trying to fax them stuff using the fax machine in my apartment building's 'Business Center'

I decided to go back to the office and fax it from there.

I receive a phone call from Brian saying:

Ok, we got your fax
and we'll unblock your cable shortly.

So is this all taken care of? The payments have been applied to the correct account number and I'm all caught up?


Until now. Actually Monday. Two weeks after Brian told me everything was ok...

I get home, and my cable is blacked out again.


So I call them.

Thank you for calling Mediacom Customer Service, my name is Brian, how can I help you today?

A heavy breather creepy type voice.

The kind you would associate with a Child Molester.

Brian, I don't have internet or a picture, why is my cable blacked out?

Your account is delinquent.


So I tell him about all the bullshit that happened 2 weeks ago.

Yep, I can see that in your account notes...

So what's the problem?!

He put me on hold constantly.

They have really bad music playing so loud it's distorted.

Um, I have to fill out a form and send this to be researched. Could you fax us some documentation proving you paid your bills?

Sure. I'll send the same fucking statement and screen shots from my bank's website saying the payments were made....dickhead.

He begins to type.

He talks under his breath when he does it.

Extremely annoying and creepy as all hell.

He types out the entire story in some form...I can practically hear his supervisor telling him how to fill it out...

Oh shit...I think I just messed up...oh no I think it's locked up...can I put you on hold?

You're kidding me.

He comes back on after a few minutes of mind-crushing music...

OK, here's what you need to do, fax that stuff to this number with a note saying it's for research in reference to ticket number....

Um, ok.

Oh and you need to hurry! Do it as quickly as you can! You've been scheduled for a non-payment disconnect, like, soon.

So I did all the shit he said I had to do. That was during lunch on Tuesday.

It is now Thursday and I am still without cable and internet.

I've heard all kinds of horror stories from people about Mediacom.

Maybe I should call them back and tell them to shove their cable up their ass.

Update: I called them that night, pretty pissed and ready to start yelling and talked to a female CSR...she was SUPER NICE, so I calmed down...she agreed to turn my cable on for a few more days while they research the problem...

Last night I called again for an update, I FINALLY talked to someone that acted like she was on my side.

She found that my research ticket had been closed without findings. She called a supervisor at my local office.

They claimed they never got a fax.

I had the actual fax and the confirmation page right in front of me.

She puts me on hold, returns and get some info, mentions that supervisor person is being difficult. She writes them an email.

I tell her I got a call earlier in the day from the collections department saying a service guy is coming to my apt on thursday to disconnect my cable.

She writes a note on the work order saying do not disconnect her cable, research is still being done.

OK, she'll keep on eye on it and give me a call in a couple of days.

Wow, a customer service rep that is ACTUALLY DOING HER JOB.

I got home last night and my cable/internet is blacked out.

Fucking great. I'm going to miss my show.

Next question: Should I pay my next bill? Or wait until they find where they put the first 2?

Friday, November 10, 2006


This was the view from my cube window 2 DAYS AGO:


And here it is NOW:

(pardon the glare)


Iowa weather is the screwiest shit.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

New Hair!

Back in the day, in college, Pi had really short hair...

Like spikey short.

I loved it. I understood why guys like their hair short.

After 2.5 years of short hair, it was time to grow it out.

Easier said than done!

Finally in April 2005 I committed to growing it out.

I made a secret pact with some stone-cold killers to whack me if I gave in...

I've had it trimmed twice since then...until yesterday!

Whoooo new hair!!

And it's Election Day.

I'm so goddamn sick of campaign ads.

Finally, we'll decide who 'controls' Congress. whooo

I think I look kinda Psycho Killer in this one...

I have other stuff to bitch about but not the time.


Maybe tomorrow...

oh yeah...The Pi is still alive!!

I went to the doctor and got me some drugs and ::POOF::

No more sick. Yet I have 7 more days of drugs to take.

Figures, it was 'the usual' and I was prescribed 'the usual'

Just once I'd like to be diagnosed with something exotic yet curable without noticable scars.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Sick Pi

I've been sick before.

Funny, I go back and read that and wonder how I had such a sense of humor about being a Mucus Monster...

I usually get all miserable and irritable.

I can be a very Not Nice Pi.

Yet I'm here at work.

I'm such a trooper.

Just don't give me more work to do.

My head hurts and my right tonsil is swollen.

Like a frickin' jawbreaker in my throat.

I'm living on soup, Halls, and water. blahhhhhhhhhhhhh

I missed a kick ass birthday party last night. And I'll prolly have to be LAME this weekend...

Like, not party. What a drag.

You have to be all responsible and growed up, Pi!

Maybe I'll be able to get the 5 errands I've been meaning to do for the last 3 weeks but haven't cuz I was too hung over and didn't get out of bed till noon...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Forbidden Fruit

What is it about Forbidden Fruit?

The fact that you can't have it, makes you want it more?


Sometimes you just want to see if you can get away with it.

A strange sort of validation,
"Yes, I got the fruit, it wasn't mine, I wasn't supposed to, but I Did."

If that's your boyfriend, he wasn't last night.

Does it make you feel special?

Or make you feel terrible?

A little bit of both.

Have you ever been cheated on? Have you cheated?

Are you against it?

Then why would you endorse it by encouraging someone else with your charms?

You don't have to worry about them getting too attached. Being too clingy. There won't be any nosing around your stuff, going over everything with a fine toothed comb. The excitement of it?

How do some make it look so easy?

I just returned from Mexico.

Oh really? What were you there for?

My Honeymoon.


Yeah it wasn't as great as I'd hoped. I spent most of it alone.

Red Flag.

Are you in love with her?

Course I am, we're very much alike, she's a really good kid.

Red Flag.
(it bothers me when guys refer to their SOs that way...)

You know, we really like you. We'll talk about you every now and then, Tuesday is becoming my favorite night.

Oh really. Despite attachements like your wife or his gf...

You know how I knew you put that $20 bill in your back pocket?


I was staring at your ass.


How sweet of them.

Allll kinds at the bowling alley.

What is it with Married Men and the Pi? I've had 3 of them seriously proposition me in the last 7 months...