Saturday, August 30, 2008

Tonsillectomy Pics

Mother was nice enough to take pictures of me before and after surgery



The healing process, day 3:

My tongue is all discolored because it's bruised from where they clamped it and pulled it out.

Eeww, I know!

The white nasty stuff is the scabbing....

As you can see, my left tonsil (on the right) was much bigger, and that side hurts more

Liquid vicodin is doing the trick...not sure how I'm going to ween myself off of it enough to make it to work though!

Even though I'm sure it doesn't hurt nearly as much as some sore throats I've had without any drugs, after you get used to not feeling the pain, why would you go back?

Right now soup and ice cream are my best friends.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Twin Tonsil Extraction - Recovery

I made it!

We arrived at Mercy Medical Center early, and then wandered around for about 10 minutes before we found the right spot.

It looked like any old doctor's office, nothing like a serious surgery spot or anything like that!

Which helped me relax.

It's Ear Nose and Throat Day at the Ambulatory Surgery Center.

Deviated septums, ear tubes, tonsillectomies, the works!

Lots of kids' parents in the waiting room...

I get checked in, am issued a bracelet and then taken back to be prepped

The Anesthesiologist came to talk to me, he was a big kinda scary guy that stared me in the eye the entire time

I got a neat gown to wear, but keep your underpants on she said

Tie in the back.

Oh yeah, glad I wore some fancy underpants.

A nice IV was stuck in my right hand, fluids fluids fluids

Can't stress enough how important being hydrated is for this process

The pre-op nurse told me all about it.

Then the doctor

Then the Operating Room Nurse.

Lucky you, you have your mom here to take care of you and she's a nurse!

Finally it was time to head in to surgery...

They walked me down a hall, into a room that looked very serious

I laid down on a narrow table, with dents in it so you know where you should be, pretty comfortable really

They started putting stickies all over to monitor my vitals

Anesthesiologist put an oxygen mask over my face, breathe deeply about 3 or 4 times

That stuff smells bad!

I don't even remember drifting off

Next thing I do remember is coming out of a strange dream, being wheeled into stage 1 recovery

Damn, that was quick.
(Mom said it was about 20 minutes)

My tongue hurts.

I'm annoyed by the oxygen thing in my nose.

My lips are dry.

I'm thirsty.

The nurse brings over a cotton swab of vaseline and smears it all over my lips

I have to wait an hour before I get anything to drink

My throat hurts a little, but not too bad

A guy is wheeled in next to me, I can't see him but he's not cooperating with everyone

I try to look and they pull the curtain.

Finally time to go to stage 2 recovery, where mom can join me.

They wheel my bed over there, how did I end up in this thing anyway?

I get to sit in a comfy recliner with warm blankets, my IV, and a crushed up popsicle

Best thing I've ever had!

There are whining screaming children in the recovery 'rooms' on either side of me

I'm a little out of it, coming off the anesthetic...

My throat didn't hurt that badly....huh

I go to the bathroom, fluids are going right through me, and check out my throat

It looks like they took an ice cream scooper to it!

Two hollowed out sections

They said I had huge tonsils too.

From the big voids in there, I believe them!

I'll see if I can get a pic, but let me tell ya, now that they're scabbing over, it's not pretty

Like, REALLY not pretty.

Scabs in your mouth are all white.

Like when you get a scab on your knee wet? It starts to get soft and white and falls off?

Yep, just like that.


The pain medicine tastes pretty pleasant and yes I'm very diligent about taking it every four hours.

Even waking up in the middle of the night to do it.

Makes me a little dizzy but takes care of the pain quickly!

Though, without it, I don't think it'd hurt that bad, I've had some terrible sore throats in my day, when I could barely swallow my own spit

This isn't as bad!

My tongue does hurt a bit, where they clamped it and pulled it out no doubt.

Ick, what a picture.

Having all those fluids made me feel awesome btw

I should drink tons and tons of water all the time. Holy crap, it's uncanny how good I felt.

I'm enjoying my soups, sherbet, scrambled eggs, water, more soup, wash, rinse repeat...

Mom is taunting me with chips and hummus.

Not fair!

No chips for me for a long time :(

Monday, August 25, 2008

slow, like honey,

my tears drip down my cheeks

i'm reading about the benefit of funerals when it hits me

a wave of grief

remembering the funeral home

the countless hours spent there.

cements the fact that you're dead.


just a body lying there in the casket.

helps those of us left behind to face reality.

i'm sad. i'm frustrated. i'm feeling left out. i hate it.

i'm having surgery, no matter how minor, it is surgery, and you won't be here or even make a phone call to express concern

or relief that everything went ok

to check up and see how i'm doing

why is it easier to cry alone

i don't want it to be this way

how do i tell you

i want help. i'm stubborn.

you may not understand, but someone has to be first. just happens to be me.

i'm a different person now, it's confusing

how much will return to 'normal' and how much will not

such a lonely place

the book calls this a grief spasm.

i'm not going to be feeling well soon

that's when it always hits me.

won't i be a charming little mess in a few days.

gentle poetic grief...ha, not mine. not now. must be an invention of time.

frustrated angry grief. so much left unsaid grief.

why. so many whys.

some things are making more sense.

others never will.

sleep. you dirty stranger you.


It's Time

Oh, yes.

It's Time.

I'm voluntarily giving up body parts on Wednesday.

Yes, it's true.

They're coming out.

The tonsils.

My tonsils.

I say bring on the pain....and then the pain medication!

I've read a bit about adult recovery from a tonsillectomy.

Ice chips.

Icing your neck.

Never miss a dose of the happy elixir.

No straws.

Lots and lots of liquids.

Constant bathroom breaks.

Lovely, suddenly I'm retired.

I'm a little nervous.

And a little not.

Mother asked me if I knew where all my 'important papers' were...

Mortgage, car, 401k, life insurance....etc etc

How morbidly necessary.

If I'm not too fuzzy, well, even if I am...I will blog this lovely experience....

Ugh, now I have to clean the toilets.

Mother is coming after all...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Donkey Ride

I've had 3 dates in the last 4 days!

Date #1 was by far the most fucked up experience.

He contacted me via a website for Sugar Daddies to meet potential Sugar Babies.

He's the type that likes to spoil his lady.

He's 41, single, prolly has 'summer kids', and makes a lot of money.

(summer kids - some are here some are there...)

How do I know these things?

He made sure to repeat himself over and over.

Aside from all of that, he's about 6' tall, really buff, and swears he doesn't like to show it off, yet he wore a really tight shirt.

Despite his manly appearance, he has a very effeminate voice!

Call me shallow, but how do you cope with that?!

He makes a lot of money.

Luckily other issues came up so I didn't have to resort to shallowness.

I'm really very honored and pleased that you decided to have dinner with me tonight.

A nice statement....the FIRST time he said it.

I swear I heard it at LEAST a dozen more times...

Then he started in on the Ex.

He's only been single for a month and a half.

They dated for 3.5 years.


And, of course, bitch was crazy.

Oh yeah, he makes a lot of money too.

He started in on how he'd love to fly me here, fly me there, first class,
did you know I bought that bitch a $12,000 Gucci bag and when I got to our house by the lake her family was helping her move MY shit out of MY house that I PAID FOR.


The insecurity, the constant interruption, and reminders that he makes a lot of money pretty much killed it for me.

The voice was the nail in the coffin.

I was damn near giving him dating advice at the end of it all.

Right after he tried to make me PROMISE that I'd go out with him again.

Did I mention he makes a lot of money?

The whole thing was really sad and pathetic but I couldn't bring myself to be a bitch about it.

Like I would have in the past.

No, no I'm going to be NICE.

Why on earth....?

I don't know!

After he left me at the bar with some of his colleagues that just so happened to be there - to run off to his next date I found out - guess what happened?

They started hitting on me.

Sure the one was really cute, but talk about baggage:

36, in process of getting divorced for the second time, house in the burbs, 3 kids, and 6 cats!


(Date #2)

I went out with him anyway cuz he makes me laugh.

I know that prolly won't go anywhere, but we had fun.

One thing I absolutely HATE and I'm not sure why....he called and texted me the next day.

And the day after that.

I can handle a text if it's short and requires no response.

Anything else is too much.

I feel crowded.

Date #3

The Elusive MySpace friend.

Yes, I meet people from MySpace.

Usually, if I really want to meet them, it's within 5 emails.

We've probably traded messages for a good 6 least. I can't even remember.

And a few phone calls here n there.

Total surfer dude.

Also has baggage:

Crazy Ex that up and moved to Iowa then filed for full custody while he was still living in Cali. He had to leave his house and spanking new beamer to move here asap to make the court date.

What a bitch.

32ish years old, two boys: 3 and 5

Funny, nice, looks older than he is, but no spark.

Total Friend Zone.

My stock is blowing up in the online dating world, it's craziness!

I may or may not meet my next boyfriend in the next month, but hey, at this rate, 1/3 are Duds, 1/3 are new friends, and 1/3 potential flings...maybe a sliver of those are possible boyfriends?

And free food!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Built-in Friends

Or as many of you may know them: Roommates

Depending on how Crazy-Cat Lady I'm feeling, I may or may not have 2 roommates.

Furry bitches....

Roommates are a curious breed.

I've only had 2 roommates since I moved out of the college dorms

The first was my Bible-Thumping-Nebraska-far-raised-our-section-of-the-dorm-in-charge-person

RA, or whatever they call them...

The most memorable moments were always Sunday mornings....

When, uh, one of my 'Tutees' and I would emerge from my room (after a long night of tutoring), to a moment some might consider awkward:

Um, good morning, Chandra....this is....(insert name here)....


Hi, nice to meet you (name)

I'm going to take him home now....

We bolted out the door as quickly as possible.

What was so awkward about it?

She was usually sitting on the couch reading the BIBLE in complete silence.

Though I have to hand it to her, she never lectured me or anything...I never even noticed a raised eyebrow.

Bless her heart.

She was a pretty good roommate actually.

The next one, not so.

He turned out to be an alcoholic.

Had to kick him out after 6 months.

I would come home some nights, man in tow, to The Drunk so wasted he couldn't even form WORDS, in the kitchen wielding a butcher knife, cutting up a chicken and making a marinade.

That or he'd be passed out on the toilet, pants around his ankles, leather jacket still on, beer in hand, door wide open...

Or worse....(what could be worse?!)

The above scenario, only NAKED

After that, it's been solo (plus two cats and numerous fish)

Can you blame me?

Anyway, I'm the only member of one of my groups of friends, The Family, that lives alone.

No built-in friends.

No one to say, hey, how was your day?

No 'default companion' for activities

If I want to go to a movie, say right now, I'd most likely have to go it alone.

Well, surely you could just call some one?

Sure, I could, but that takes work.

Yes, friendship takes work.

I am lazy.

Not the best combination.

Point is, I have a lot of Me Time.

I used to love Love LOVE Me Time.

Too much of a good thing...well it gets boring.

Funny how it changes from day to day too.

I can go a whole weekend without having a conversation with someone.

When was the last time you did that?!

It leaves a lot of time for thinking, which is probably good for me....and not good for me at the same time.

Like, thinking about all of the things I feel I SHOULD be doing...or kinda WANT to do...

For example, exercising.
to-do list

The whole playing soccer thing, even though I'm sore as fuck afterwards, I also feel damn good.

Gimme more a dat!

Or that long-long-so-long-it's-never-ending list of Home Improvement Projects.


Or this comical it's-been-up-so-long-I'll-have-to-scrub-the-fuck-out-of-it-to-erase-it Shit to do List?

My friends have lovingly added to it.

And if there's a guy hanging around, it never fails, he'll write his name right under 'Shit to do'

Double Ack.

How about, where's my motivation?!

that's the first one I need to answer.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Adventures of Soccer Boy

Or as I'll refer to him in this post, the Contractor

A few posts ago I mentioned a Flirty Email

Well, it worked.

Just as I suspected it would.

See, I've been trying to let the Man be the Man and not be the one doing all the asking all the time...

Men fell good when they do Manly things.

Like asking the chick out first

So I opened the door and gave him an opportunity to do just that

A date was set: Saturday night, dinner and ??

I decided to let him plan it.

(Not always the best idea)

He actually came and picked me up...

Not an option on the first few dates for me if I barely know someone, but since we had played soccer together and had mutual acquaintances I was ok with it

I thought it was kind of sweet, a little old fashioned maybe

Sushi dinner, conversation wasn't bad, food was good cept for one of the rolls was way too fishy


People were staring at me too.

At least I felt like they were and maybe caught a few dirty older guys in the act...

I was glammed up like that.

I dropped the Dead Daddy Bomb on him on the way out to his truck...

He handled it really well.


Drinks at one of my favorite bars, more chatting...then it started pouring and I decided we should go back to my place and watch a movie

One episode of the Venture Brothers and a Domino later...

He actually asked if he could kiss me.

Who is this guy?

A couple hours of hot make-out-on-the-couch-action later, he left.

Damn. It's been awhile since I've done that.

It was awesome.

Date 2 was less then stellar

Date 2.5...he picked my drunk ass up from the bar.

A sunday morning spent in bed watching bad tv cuddling was pretty amazing.

I decided after date 2.0 that I was going to cut it off after Date 3

Contractor doesn't meet the Pi's Nerdy Requirement.

The Ambition Factor wasn't all that high either....

Sure, he was good company, as long as he kept his mouth shut.

Date 3 was over the new batman movie (love it!) and a quick bite to eat

Then on the way home I spouted off...

Ummm so do you think this is going anywhere?

Well, um, I do and I don't...

Ok, cuz I don't. You're so nice and everything but it just isn't there for me...y'know you can't force it...

He took it like a champ.

A 36 yr old single never married no kids kinda guy has heard this thing before...


Isn't it fucked up when you realize that one of your friends is a damn good match for you but there's just one thing missing?

Like what?


That tear-your-clothes-off-Fuck-Me-I'm-Famous-SPARK

A change needs to be made.

A new thing

A new person

A new place


Where did that excitement go?!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Your Days are Numbered....


Those bastards are scheduled for extraction August 27th.

From what I've heard it isn't exactly a cakewalk

Liquid and mushy diet for a few days

Possible Bleeding

A Constant Companion

Yes, I need to have someone around for a week after because the scabs could come loose and start bleeding and I could choke to death

Charming, eh?

Why have I elected to do this to myself?

Because of a nasty little guy called Tonsillitis.

We've gotten together at least twice a year for the past 6 or so years

You may be familiar with him:

Yep, a lovely gentleman.

Apparently at the ripe age of 26, you shouldn't be keeping such company...

This will be the closest thing to a major surgery I've ever had.

I'm actually not nervous about it.

Can't wait.

Yank those suckers out to make way for something big and better....

Unfortunately the Day coincides with the start of the regular bowling season.


Regular bowlers, how I miss you!

I have all this free idea what to do with it...except be lazy

Which is nice, on occasion, but I'm more of a need-to-be-busy-to-get-shit-done type

I still have a couple of weeks free until I'm back to the regular work hours so I've come up with a 'plan'

Plan: Figure shit out!

I read today that my company will pay for any kind of counseling service its employees or their family members may feel they need....

I am all over that

Not exclusively for grief, I'm more interested in some help on the figuring-out-my-career side

How ironic.