Friday, March 30, 2007

Sweet Jesus!


Crazy Catholics everywhere are all messed up about this Milk Chocolate Jesus.

A 6 foot 200 pound milk chocolate Jesus.

Did I mention he's NAKED?!



No loin cloth.

The Catholics rallied together and made angry phone calls to the hotel hosting the art event.

So they canceled it.

The Catholics are reportedly 'infuriated'

which is exactly how deeply religious people should be!

I'd be pissed if I had to listen to how bad I am for existing and that I'm dirty and I need to confess and get down on my knees and PRAISE THE LORD!!

Not to mention follow one of the most hideous and unkind looking popes in history.

Oh wait.

I'm Catholic!


I think a chocolate Jesus is actually kinda funny.

If some artist wants to make a statement using food in the form of Christ, that's his thing.

The other part that made them 'infuriated' was the fact that the show was to run during HOLY WEEK.

hah, PRAISE THE LORD, and then break off a toe and enjoy!

mmmm chocolately jesus-goodness....

(i'm so going to hell, but we already knew that. I sealed my fate with the picture in this post.)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A Night with the 'Straighties'...well sorta

Saturday night was a bit of a fluke.

Juice Girl wanted to go out, I figured what the hell...

I picked her up and we went to meet a few of her friends at this place called Crave.

Crave is known for its martinis and fondue room.

Word is the food is mediocre.

We arrive and there are 2 chicks waiting for us.

Shortly after another arrives.

I'm surrounded by vagina!

This is an occurrence that hasn't happened in . . . !!

I don't even know!!

Aside from Juicey, there was Zebra Shoes, Blondie, and Anorexia.
Juice Girl
(I'm not saying she HAS anorexia, just that she LOOKED like she had anorexia)

She snipped at the hostess to seat us, that we don't have to wait until everyone arrives to be seated.

Well, ok.

So we're seated. The place is pretty empty.

I thought it was supposed to be 'hoppin.'

We don't have napkins, silverware, or drink menus at the table.

It took much too long for the server to show up.

Then we had to wait even longer to get our first drinks.

And course, they fucked mine up.

Rose yummy
I got GRAPE, which is not RASPBERRY.


Conversation was pretty brainless. So much so that I don't remember what all was said.

Finally the last 2 in our party showed up.

Guess what?!

A gay couple!!

Thank God.

We ordered appetizers and chatted, conversation was sorta split between the 2 tables . . . Blondie, Zebra Shoes, and Anorexia - me, krissi, and gay boys.

The appetizers weren't too bad, the martinis were about average and the service sucked.

I'm never going back.

After we finally escaped Juicey, Roomate, and I went over to 'Old Cab.'

It's a shit hole.

It has Smithwick's on tap.

It's awesome.

It's been freakishly warm and humid lately so we were on the patio.

Sluts were running around in tube tops and skirts so short their clams were hanging out!

To our left there was Tragedy.

These people looked they had dragged themselves through the street gutters from their trailer court 4 blocks away.

We were fascinated.

Conversation was good and more people showed up.

Eventually we had to go inside . . .

And that's when we spotted them.

Rugby boys.

One particularly cute one was sitting at the opposite end of this huge table from me, talking to some chick I didn't know, but apparently knew someone in our group.

So I asked her to introduce me...

Oh, I just met him!


So I cozy up to the bar between 2 of his friends.

They look me up and down and buy me a beer.

We chat until Cutie comes back.

And then, it was on.

He was their DD that night, which was quite the challenge.

Can you hold your own chatting with a cute rugby boy after so many drinks?

Didn't think so.

The flirt was on.

Cute. Check.

Educated. Check.

Employed. Check.

Hot body. Double Check.

How do I know?

I feel everyone up!


Bar closes - we take the flirting outside.

Everyone in my party is giving me the thumbs up.

Well this is going to be fun. Would you like to exchange numbers?


So I give him mine.

I'm calling you right now so you'll have mine - see?

I sorta glance at his phone and find it hard to focus at exactly what it was doing but it looked like he was calling.

We're going to after hours - do you ladies want to join us?

Juicey and Roommate didn't.

I'm game. (duh.)

Alright, we'll stop and grab beer and meet you there.

So I take the girls home, grab some gas, and go to the after hours club.

It was packed. to the brim.

And it must've been Hoochie Momma Ghetto Night.

I pay and wade my way through a sea of drunken people looking for the group of rugby boys.

Wait, I'll just call/text him.

Cellphone, what is his number?

I don't know. Don't look at me . . .

Stupid cell phone either didn't register the call.

or he didn't really call. . . .

I try to think back to when he showed me his phone.

Ah well, just wander around and look for em.

I get flagged down by one of the bartenders from the bowling alley.

They give me beer.

I tell them the story of why I'm there alone.

I chill there for a little, then I think I see one of em.

Then I run into Cousin C with some bitch he picked up Friday night.

Then I spot the rugby boy in the jersey.

He takes me to where all the others were hanging out.

One guy was very open about how he's a huge asshole.

He was right. It was funny. Honesty is good.

So where's Cutie?

Oh I dunno, he must b'round here shomewheresh...
Moose Knuckle

Oh, ok...

Then we find out we have a mutual acquaintance.


He plays rugby and is a fan of the MooseKnuckle.

So jersey guy calls Ben.

He's wasted at a Perkins across town.


After that I ask one of the less drunk guys in the group - Are you sure Cutie's around?

Cutie? Oh, he's prolly at home with his girlfriend.

. . . .

Oh, really.


Then some drunk named Dusty started to go on and on about how 'You don't need to put up with this shit. Why are you hanging out with us. This jerk keeps grabbing your ass and I'm a fucking drunk.'

I look around and decide...holy shit, he's right!


This is why I hang out at the gay bar with a bunch of straight guys.

They look out for me better since they aren't trying to hunt down some puss.

I don't get grabbed or spanked by random jerks.

(Bats isn't a jerk, I just thought it was funny!)

And I don't have to deal with cute flirty guys that have fucking girlfriends!

And it's not even the part about having a gf that bothers me.

Where's the follow through?!

Where are your fucking balls!

In my gf's purse...

I thought so.

Monday, March 26, 2007

'A quiet night in...'

Caught on the DancefloorYeah right!!

That's what we were trying to kid ourselves into doing...

Take a break from staying out till 5 and up till 8...playing with crayons and glow sticks and candy etc etc...

We'll have a drink at the bowling alley, grab a sixer, a movie, and just chill.

And then Friday night came and we had both changed our minds!

So we got fab and hit the Gay Bar, per the usual.

JMax took this pic of me on the dancefloor . . .

I like it cuz it's different.

(I also don't think I look like myself, but hey, I was messed up...)

As the bar let out, everyone grabbed a handful of condoms and congregated outside.

We were just standing around in the street and I met this gayboy named Will.
Me n Will
OMG, Hi, you're so pretty!! how are you?!

Thank you! I'm good! How are you?!

So we chatted as everyone left...

There was this blazer parked right out front with a group of people around it...

Some fat girl on the phone: I fucking know how to get there! So-and-so is passed out in the fucking front seat and she's the only one that knows how to get there!

We were entertained.

Eventually so-and-so started unloading her party all over the pavement.

So we chatted and tried to figure out what to do for afterhours . . .

Yeah, afterhours, we went from 'no party, just stay in,' to 'messed up and now what at 2.30am'...

As we stood there this guy started driving his Camry back and forth in front of the bar. . .

I think he was shopping.

Omg, that is SO sad.

He seriously did it about 10 times.

So we decided to follow Will to his friend's place to chill.

We drove a total of 3 blocks.
Gay boys!
It was a fancy building with pretty walls...

We walked into the messiest Gay-pad I've ever seen!

You'd think it'd be all neat and tidy and whatnot...

Um, no.

A pizza with an extra pound of sargento on it was consumed and then it was time for some Late-Night Cooking with Gay Boy.

This is an old family recipe. You guys are totally going to like it...I think I'll leave the butter out so isn't as fattening...

I give you: Corn Casserole.

Macaroni, corn, and a BOX of Velveeta.
Tasted better than it looks
Throw in greased baking dish and bake at 400 for 45 minutes.

Unfortunately I only took a 'before' picture.

It tasted pretty good!

While that was in the oven we found out we had mutual acquaintances...

Der. we hang at the gay bar all the time.

We Know People.

And course there was the guy on the instant messenger trying to find some boot-ay.

Which arrived in the form of Robert.slimy balloon

A thin spot on the back of his head, crooked teeth, and slightly more delicate than I would have liked Robert.

We didn't think he was all that cute, but that didn't matter...

Around 5 we decided it was time to go - but first we played with condoms and exchanged phone numbers!

On the way back to my place we started talking about how everyone always grabs the biggest condoms from the bowl . . .
Test 4
I wonder just how big they can accommodate . . .

So JMax made a fist and I put 'er on!

It was pretty gross.

He didn't succeed in stretching it to the breaking point.

He started to lose sensation instead since it was too tight...

Well, now you know you CAN safely fist someone, if the mood arises!

Friday, March 23, 2007

St. Patty's Shenanigans! Part II

whatWe started a little late on St. Patty's...

I had intentions of going to the parade, which started at noon, and then to the reception to enjoy some food and beer...

But I didn't get out of bed till...??

I can't even remember!

So we chilled for almost the whole day and then got our shit together in the late afternoon.

JMax took off to a benefit p'sgetti dinner...
Manwhore and Some Guy Named Steve were on their way down to meet up with this Chick Manwhore's been trying to party with for months...

Word is they met on the internet.

I get all pretty and wait for everyone to arrive.

I got bored.

So I cracked a bud light tall boy Cousin-C left in my fridge...

Good lord, that shit is AWFUL.

(i'm so spoiled by fancy beer)

They still weren't here at 10, so I cracked the other tall boy...

Finally, The Big Easy, JMAx, Cousin-C and JMax's bro Josh (our DD) arrived with my chariot.

I had my buzz on!

(a little on the low tolerance side lately...)

We met up with Manwhore and Some Guy Named Steve at Limey's Pub.

It wasn't too packed, everyone was wearing green and the atmosphere was more chill than I expected.

Probably cuz they were all out of it from drinking all day!

We find our peeps and the Chick Manwhore wanted to meet up with was completely trashed.

She was leaning on people and damn near passing out in her chair.

The beads she was wearing around her neck has apparently been violated before being given to her...


Well, some guys were talking about how they did things to those beads and then took pictures with Chick while she had the beads in her mouth...

You can only imagine where those beads had been!


Anyway, they had Smithwick's on tap! (silent 'W')

It's an original Irish red ale - hell yeah for St. Pat's!

(And yes, I'm Irish! thanks, mom!)

This beer had been recommended to me by whoever, so I had to try it.

I was not disappointed!

It's fucking tasty-delicious!

They served it slightly warmer and with a bit of head, but that didn't matter...

Ever notice how some beers taste better when a little warmer? (Like Henieken!)

So I drank a bunch of that, there were 'Irish bombs' which we've always called 'Car Bombs' and course jager bombs...

Guess what?!

We called Josh!!

Since we had 2 Josh's, we decided to distinguish them calling brother Josh 'Cool Josh' and bowling alley Josh, 'Geek Josh'

We're so nice.

Geek Josh showed up with some married couple, I guess they're friends...

We made him drink one beer and then we had to leave since Cousin-C saw a guy that he once fought and there was gonna be drama...
drunk time
Herding drunks is really difficult!

Finally we left and I'm not sure who decided but we went to this shit-hole called GT's

There was a case of beer in the car too, and I can't remember when that was purchased...

GT's was dark as hell, which makes me worry about what it looks like during the day...

I met some lady in line for the pisser and she was pretty cool.

Some bitch was taking she pounded on the door...

There was some dude in there, but he already left, she must be picking up...freaky chick


I ended up standing by the bar with a Henie talking to. . . .??

I don't even remember. Some guy I think...

JMax found this Freaky Chick that he thought was hot, and took a picture with her.

I don't remember her either... (haha how many times do i say 'i don't remember!?)

The Big Easy in all his infinite drunken wisdom decided to pull her hair and demand she make out with tramp stamp

She promptly left.

JMax took a great pic of my Tramp Stamp:

Closing time came and then we went to the after-hours bar.

I was so gone at this point that I don't remember the ride over, but Cousin-C dragged me in, paid for me, sat me down with the case and went to round up everyone else.

It was little-mexico and Ho-central once again...too bad we lost Geek Josh, the chances of getting him laid totally went up...

But he had disappeared.

lets rehydrate
Oh well.

We danced at the table and drank more beer we didn't need...

Manwhore took it upon himself to give me constant lap dances. . .

Someone gave me a bottle of water...

At some point I thought Some Guy Named Steve was hot and started making out with him.

I was all gropey and started licking my friends.

I might have left scratch marks on him and Manwhore...

I'm so NICE!!

some guy
Looking at the pictures the next day, I didn't remember most of them!

When I saw Some Guy Named Steve I thought,
'There's no way he's straight!'

Whatever, it was fun at the time!

I think we stayed out till 5am again, but I couldn't focus enough to actually see what going on or what time it was.

Mission Accomplished!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

St. Patty's Shenanigans! Part I

Hey there Monkeys!

I'm putting work aside to get some blogging done.

Eat it, work.

JMax and I tore it up at the ole bowling alley on Friday night after I was done working.

There's this bartender with an amazingly huge ass that I work with occasionally.

She's got a 'Buhdunkadunk' butt for sure, but a little waist and some boobage going on.

Then there's her kinky fro.

We affectionately call her DonkeyButt.

JMax met Donkey Butt for the first time that night and was instantly fascinated by the gluteus maximus.

Holy Shit! Look at that thing! Where did she get that?!

No idea.

I can't stop staring. . . I wonder. . .


I just wanna stick my dick in it!


Then some dork sat next to us.

Meet Josh.

Josh is around 30, recently divorced, and hasn't gotten any action since.

He's 6 foot, 150 pounds of pale geekiness.

She cheated on him.

I didn't really wonder why since he couldn't even describe how big his dick was.

Why did we ask him to do that?
Me n JMax

Well, we decided that if Josh came out with us for St. Patty's Day, we'd get him Laid.

JMax can sell a dog to the Crazy Cat Lady.

He's that good.

And me, well I'm just awesome.

I think Josh was going along with us, not really believing that we'd
call him to go out the next night.

So, Josh, what are your standards?

Well, I don't really have any.

Perfect. Ok, how big is your dick?

Why does that matter?

Cuz if we're trying to sell you, dick size kinda matters...

(Here's where he fucked it all up.)

Ok, will you do anything she asks you to?

Um, Like what?
::wide eyed look::

Like if she asks you to lick her ass will you do it?

::Confused look::
Um, well yeah!

Then, Ray, a dirty league bowler, chimes in: You have to eat a bucket of her shit just to know where it's been!

Thanks, Ray.

Ok, how about all that other freaky-deeky shit?

What are you talking about?

Well, like a
donkey punch, dirty sanchez, hot carl, cleveland steamer . . . stuff like that?

Um, I don't even know what those are . . .

Damnit, Josh!

Ray and the lesbians on his team are now captivated.

JMax went on to describe the donkey punch and how he knew some guy that actually pulled it off once.

I don't think we ever got an answer from him on this one . . . we were too busy being loud and obnoxious!

Okok, bring it back to basics, are you into Butt Sex?

Why do you guys need to know this stuff again?!

Alright, Josh, what do you do?

I'm a plumbing apprentice.

No, you're not. You're an IT guy for Wells Fargo.


You're an MIS guy at Wells Fargo. You don't tell chicks you're a plumbing apprentice!

Wait, are you racist?


Will you do a black chick? Hispanic? Asian?

Yeah, sure.

Alright, cool.

I still don't think you guys are going to call me.

We're going to call you.

Things went on like that for who knows how long, until JMax decided to get behind the bar to hit on DonkeyButt.

He made her blush.

She got so nervous she wouldn't even come close to him!

Why don't you date him? she asked me.

Um, cuz he's my Married Friend/Best Friend/Party Mate.


Joe, the shift manager came over to see what the ruckus was about, saw JMax behind the bar, everyone laughing and me screaming for another Heineken, which he grabbed for me and then left.

Joe loves me.

Josh decided it was time for a Tequila Shot.

Not that he and JMax needed one, they were pretty lit up.

DonkeyButt closed the bar down around midnight, Josh disappeared and we took off.

Yeah, all this shit went down in about 2.5 hours. . .

to be continued . . .

Friday, March 16, 2007

That's it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm going to buy my first place!

I've made a decision.

. . .


Now what?!

Waste time at work edumacatin' myself on mortgages, the process, prices in the area, listings in the area . . . .

I'm totally wiped.

Larnin' really takes it outta ya!

I managed to stumble across some bank stuff and got pre-approved over lunch!

My credit is A-ok, and I have lots of debt (aka STUDENT LOANS ARE THE DEVIL), but tell me something I didn't know!

I am excited to set out on this little adventure/life experience.

Which means it's time for Uber-Frugal Mode!

Whoo....yeah, giving up eating out lunch (meaning I pay for it) more than once during the work week and once on the weekend.

Only buy necessary groceries, i.e. milk, bread, etc, basically perishables.

I have tons o food just stocked in the cupboards and it just sits there...what am I saving it for?!

Time to eat it.

Oh baby, I'd love to pre-approve you. . . (dork)

And what to do with the money I'm saving?

Pay off some debt!!


Sadly, this means no traveling for the Pi for awhile =(

I'm not sure how far/crazy I'm going to go with this, I mean I got a $7.99 haircut coupon from Great Clips in the mail yesterday...

Will I use it?!

I haven't paid less than $40 for a haircut in over 8 years!

Fuck. no more frivolous shoe purchases.

This is going to be a challenge-but I'm going to TRY and make a game of it.

The Game of Life!

(haha, ohgodi'madork!)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Hawtness

JMax, Manwhore, and I have been up late enough to see actual Music Videos on MTV and VH1.

I know, it actually still happens!


And every morning we take in these videos we are assaulted.

Assaulted by The Hawtness.

Hawtness 1: Paula Patton in her Hubby's Video

I would have posted a picture, but I couldn't find any that do her justice, the way she moves and jumps around on the bed is just HAWT.

Hawtness 2: Nelly Furtado

I know, I know, I didn't like her at first either, that fucking 'I'm like a bird, I only fly awayeeeee' bothered the hell out of me

But now that Timbaland got a hold of her, things have shaped up.

All it takes is a little black.

She can't dance worth a shit, which she proved in her Promiscuous video, but you don't have to be able to shake your ass to make it bounce . . .

Hawtness 3: Gwen Stefani

Now, normally, I don't DO blondes or 12 yr old boys, but Gwen's got attitude.

What's even better is she looks like the kinda girl that will kick your ass and then fuck your brains out.

And you'll like it.

Then there's the singer from Blue October that wears eyeliner.

I don't know why but I think he's pretty.

Speaking of pretty men, Cousin C joined us at the gay bas this past weekend.

He is our Gay-Bar Secret Weapon.

They love him there.

We got free drinks all night!

The main pursuer was a guy named Chris.

He was a beautiful man.

Complete with pink button down, coat and tie!

Maybe we'll party it up Irish Style with him this weekend.

We were at this Chinese place downtown earlier in the night, and totally witnessed a drug deal.

Trying to find the bathroom in that place was insane, you might as well go out in the alley and piss behind/on the dumpster.

I'm tired. I got nothing.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Call Me

I was working at the bowling alley on Tuesday night and something out of the ordinary happened.

I got a number.

Getting a number isn't out of the ordinary, it's the WAY I got it.

It was given to me.

But not in your usual, chat up the cute waitress and then get out your cell phone and exchange digits kinda way.

It was in the old-school cheesy fashion.

This guy was bowling on lane 2.

He's the only drinker at the table and likes a constant stream of bottles of Bud Light.

Last week he tipped me 1/4 times.

This week he did a little better, though he did stiff me a couple times.

They were all finished bowling and packing up their stuff.

I was wiping down tables.

Have a great night, guys, see ya next week

You too!

I walk back to the bar, which is around lane 22.

Standing in my usual spot when I'm waiting for everyone to get the hell out so I can clean and then leave, I start talking to the new bartender.

The guy from lane 2 walks up to me, I notice him out of the corner of my eye and turn his direction

Hey, I forgot to tip you . . .

He hands me a dollar wrapped around a napkin.

Oh, thanks...

I didn't think much of it


Wait a minute.

I open the napkin:

Call Me

OMG Are you SERIOUS!? People still do that!?

That guy followed you all the way back to the bar
said one of our leaguers...

Gee, that makes me feel even better about not calling him.

I was able to relay this little tale several times during the rest of my shift and everyone thought it was hilarious!

I wonder if he did it as a dare or something.

I told the ladies here at work and they thought it was CUTE.


So next week, when I bring him his bottle of Bud Light, I will not include a napkin.

I'm not going to call him.

That being said, should I act like I just threw the napkin away like 'Why you bringin' me trash?'

Or like it never happened?

Pictures from the Iowa Blizzard last weekend.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I ain't no 1k trick!

Brandy QueenGay bar night x2 for this past weekend!

Manwhore, JMax, and I took in a drag show up close.

Not sure I'd recommend that.

I was distracted by the size of her feet.

I swear those things were a size 15!

It's amazing how they can move in those heels.

Much better than some women I've seen . . .

I think we danced but I'm not totally sure since we were DRUNK.

Hit the after-hours club for whatever reason.

We ended up sitting with the Mexicans.

That's cool, we got a representative!

Thanks, guys.
About 4.00isham...and an idea occurs.

First one in a long time!



Eggs Benedict.

The most delicious plate known to man was set in front of me.

Apparently we were loud and obnoxious.

(I don't really remember.)

Pretty sure we colored and then ripped our place mats to shreds.

Passed out around 5.30am...

Which is damn impressive considering we'd been drinking and it was the end of a very long week!

Saturday, we got our Happy on.

But only after laying around all day watching tv and swearing off alcohol.

Then I got Pretty.
what tilt
You better 'preciate this picture!

Those curls took me an hour!

Manwhore convinced me to wear bright red lipstick to match one of the shirts I was wearing...

Then we went to dinner and experienced An Awkward Moment.

I opened the door to the stairwell as a couple reached the top of the stairs.

They stopped dead in their tracks and just stared at me.

Her eyes went all wide.

His jaw dropped.

After what seemed like a minute I finally said
'Excuse us...'

Manwhore came up with some story about how they MUST have chatting about having a threesome and how would they EVER find someone to join them and then BAM I walk through the door!

It was really odd.

So what are we doing tonight, Brain?

Let's go back to the Garden!

Where Adam and Steve make a home.

But I don't want to go back there tonight! Let's go to the straight bar!

Manwhore likes to complain cuz he looks like a Twink.

He's always being hit on at the Gay Bar.

And I guess it starts to bother him after awhile. . .

I'm tired of guys grabbing my ass and roofie-ing my drinks!

We told him to suck it up and take it like a man!

And went anyway.

We are perched above the dancefloor, enjoying the lights, the beat, and the way people dance.

There's always that one drunk straight chick that HAS to get in the cage and infect it with terrible white-girl gyrations.

Stupid cunt.

After a little bit, I notice this older guy.

He's standing next to me and staring at Manwhore.

And there's an even older, creepier guy next to him staring at him while he's staring at Manwhore...

I go to the bathroom and guess what. . .

He's talking to Manwhore when I get back!

OMG you'll never believe this!

What, Manwhore?

That guy wants to give me $1,000 to go back to his hotel room! WHAT?! He already gave me $100 . . .

For what?

Just to talk.

So what are you going to do?

I dunno, he said he has a room at the Embassy Suites and would give me $1,000 just to walk through the door...I don't have to DO Anything, he said. Yeah, right. He probably has a glass already laced with roofies in his room!

Wait, is he a top or a bottom?

Does it really matter?!

Well . . . it's an easy grand. . .


okok . . .geez.

So Manwhore sat next to the guy all night and kept him company.

After awhile JMax and I started to get freaked out and decided Manwhore wasn't going anywhere without us.

I know, I know! He just wants some company. At least it's keeping all the other guys off of me!

lol thing is, Manwhore isn't gay!

JMax started asking around, and EVERY gay man he asked about the proposition would TOTALLY have done it.

But did you ask any straight men?, guess not.

After we left, Manwhore gave us more details.

PayforSexGuy is married and has a 20 yr old daughter.

He's from Illinois and already got laid earlier in the day.

His wife's a lesbian and doesn't have a problem with him 'being away on business'

Wouldn't it be cool if I could hit up his daughter too?

Holy fucked up, Batman.

We were amused by the situation.

Off to the after hours club again!

It was Little Mexico and Whore Heaven Night.

I couldn't walk across the place to the bathroom without 5 Mexican dudes trying to stop me and chat, and a little pat on the ass on the way back.


There were sluts on the bar, in the cages, and on the pole in the middle of the dancefloor.

his downer gf, Manwhore's latest toy, and a pretty little Twink met us there.

Manwhore took one look at Twink and said, OMG, I can't compete with THAT!

Relax, he's gay.

Oh, whew, good.

A couple fights broke out, people were handcuffed and thrown out, we were tucked away in a corner playing with squishy things that light up, hidden by a wall of Mexicans.

It was pretty neat.

They made our little corner a sort of VIP section just by standing in front of us.

We rock.

The place cleared out without us noticing, so we left around, i dunno 4.30?

We watched videos and the sun come up.

Another weekend sacrificed to the Fun Gods.