A first of forever

July 15th has never been anything special.

Until now.

Now it's the day I last saw my dad alive.

July 15, 2007

It was a Sunday

He was in town to help me work on my condo

To finish what we had started the previous weekend:

It's all here

Mom had given me some $$ to fix the place up

I remember Dad saying Since I can't give you money like your mother, I'm going to help you as much as I can. All I have is time to give.

Two months and a day later, he died.

The last time I saw him he was standing on my patio waving at me as I pulled away to head back to my apartment.

He wanted to do as much as possible before leaving the next day. He felt he hadn't done enough yet, so instead of driving home on Sunday night, he worked until I don't know when and then got up super early.

A year later, I still haven't finished what we started together.

This condo, my first home, has a special place in my memory and my heart.

I wonder if I'll ever be able to sell it, as keeping it wasn't in the long term plan.

I didn't spend much time with Dad in the last four years of his life

In fact, the most recent picture I have of us together was taken in 2004 at his wedding reception.

I took so many pictures of what we were doing here together and didn't even snap one of us, dirty, smelly, and annoyed with each other.

A few weeks before he was due to come help, I was at his house discussing my plans for the place.

As I left, we were standing on his stoop, he gave me a big hug and said, You're all grown up, I'm really happy with the way you turned out. I'm so proud of you.

I thought he was going to cry, and I kinda brushed it off with an Oh Dad...

Now it's one of my favorite memories of him.

Hard to believe I haven't seen you in a year.

I miss you.

A picture of us, taken in 1995, when I was 13 and didn't like taking pictures:























I keep this one on my desk at work, it makes me smile

Everybody in Florida was smoking pot

I just saved a ton of money on car insurance by switching to State Farm.

Screw you, Farmer's!

The 'account executive' I spoke to is one of those guys that has a not-so-manly voice which makes your gay suspicions spike so you start looking for something about him that screams I LOVE PUSSY.

I'm not sure I found one...

Anyway, the summer weather has finally arrived, the cats are shedding like mad, and I'm starting to get that nice summer glow

Time for a fling!

Summer flings...ahhh do you remember?

Maybe you're in one right now.

Thing about em is, you KNOW it isn't going to last, so you just bone all the time and have fun.

No pressure.

The weather will turn in a few months and you'll (most likely) decide this isn't the person I want keeping me warm during the winter so you just stop calling.

Voila. Fling.

or Flings...

I sent a Flirty Email today.

You know where that leads?

Flirty Dinner and Flirty Drinks.

(and maybe Flirty Soccer since that's where I met him...)

Yep, there's the catch. He's on my soccer team.

Have to be careful with that!!

Doesn't quite violate the 'No co-workers, classmates, or neighbors' rule but it's in that grey zone...

Which brings me to Dating.

The only date in recent memory was something I don't care to repeat.

Everything, (well, not everything, he was LATE!!) was going alright, then, inevitably, family comes up.

How the hell do you tell someone you don't even know, or even barely know, that your dad died less than a year ago?

It is easier to say, I'd rather not talk about family when it comes up?

Or preface the date with There's something I'd rather not talk about with you just yet, try and guess what it is!

There are other topics that could lead to The Death Talk, such as the condo conversation, course I'll say I worked on it with dad, then questions about him could ensue...

This is tricky.

It could lead to some hella awkward situations. (yes, I just used 'hella' and I know it's retarded.)

I understand that because before this, I had no idea how to react to news like that either.

Someone write A Dating Guide for the Grieving: So you lost a Parent? (not to be confused with the Dating Guide for the Grieving: So you lost a Spouse?)

What if, on the off chance the date can relate?

I don't want to spend some of the night in tears talking about our dead parents (not on the first date anyway...)

oh le sigh. I'll have to stumble it out...

Last Wednesday I was in Chicago once again

At the United Center

With my mom

For a concert

Last year (or the year before, who can remember?) it was Madonna

This year: George Michael

Laugh and point if you must but it was THE MOST AWESOMEST CONCERT EVER!!!

We had seats 11 rows up from the floor, the view was amazing

Totally spoiled ourselves with $250 seats.

You can't go back to the nosebleeds after that. No way.

There were some die hard fans.

This one lady, whose hair style hasn't changed in 25 years, was wearing a brightly colored jean jacket with his face airbrushed over the entire back.

Sequins and rhinestones on the front spelled out Freedom and Faith

Fucking sweet.

Everyone was on their feet singing and dancing

Pretty sure he played all my favorite songs

And, as the night progressed, he became more flamboyant!

Didn't bring my camera in for a change. Not sure why.

Could have taken awesome pics.

(I stole from flickr instead)

More tomorrow, but in a different tone...

if you're wondering about the title I pulled it from a track in Mark Farina's Live in Tokyo