2007 Quickie Recap

I grew up a lot in 2007.

I started the year by breaking off a long term relationship for good.

I was unhappy after that.

So I turned to the chemical escape...

Then I decided to purchase a piece of real estate for myself.

Why?

Still not sure.

Maybe I needed to have a better reason to stay in Des Moines other than an ok job and a handful of friends.

I closed on my place in June, my dad came out for a couple of weekends in July to help me work on it.

Lots of hard grueling work.

But it's what I'm proudest of in 2007.

I started to fall in love. . . twice.

Or was it lust once and love once?

::Shrug::

I made some great new friends

Took alot of pictures.

Became more important at work.

I buried my father.

Now I'm going to start 2008 with a clean slate.

Single

A new car

Freedom from credit card debt

A raise, new job responsibilities

A different outlook on life?

Despite all of these things, I still feel a little lost.

Then again, who isn't?

Hope everyone has a safe and awesome New Year's Celebration

: )

She did what?!

The Pi will enter 2008 a single gal...

Yes, the co-worker thing wasn't working out for me.

I broke it off on the 27th...

It seems a rather sudden and hasty decision, doesn't it?

Because it was.

I went from asking someone to watch my kitties cuz we were going to his parents' place this weekend...to I think I'm going to break up with him.

In 2 hours.

I started thinking about leaving asap after work on Friday to make the 3 hour drive to NW Iowa...and I became anxious.

I've been experiencing Anxiety Attacks for about 8 months, not sure why.

I had my longest and scariest attack the first time we drove up there.

Sitting here in my cubicle, freaking out about going up there to do his family Christmas, really got me thinking.

Why am I freaking out!?

I don't want to go. In fact, I'm dreading it.

That's not a good sign.

There have been lots of bad signs the last few weeks actually.

It all started two weeks ago with the trip to my grandmother's house in Southern Illinois.

A grueling 8.5 hour drive.

The last night we were there some shit happened that changed everything.

Privacy was not respected, as a result questions about a topic I said I'd never discuss were asked.

There are things in this world that once you say them, you can't unsay them.

No matter how much you didn't mean it, or how sorry you are.

It's been said.

The toothpaste is out of the tube.

He said one of those things.

I almost walked out and said Fuck This.

I knew he didn't mean it.

But that doesn't change the fact that it hurt deeply.

Somehow we patched things up.

After that everything changed.

He pointed out to me one day that my demeanor towards him wasn't the same as before.

Before that night in Southern Illinois.

I thought I had coped with that whole thing pretty well. I thought I was over it.

Guess not.

On the drive back I told him that I needed some space.

This is something that I had been putting off for a couple of weeks...shame on you Pi.

Not like, we need to take a break space, more like, I need time to myself and with friends space.

Y'know, the good kind of space.

I was feeling a bit smothered.

When I start to feel that way, usually I run.

It's too much.

This was not taken lightly.

His inexperience with relationships led him to believe that I was pushing him away.

::sigh::

Not the case.

People in a healthy relationship still have their own lives.

I felt like mine was slipping away.

He only moved here a few months ago and doesn't really have one...

The whole thing became really frustrating.

Think about your relationships in high school.

That's what this was like for me.

Dating someone without any foundation!

But you can mold him any way you want

Pfft. I don't have that kind of patience!

The other signs that started popping up in the last few weeks were that I didn't really miss him when I was in Chicago for 5 days.

Sure, I said I did, but sometimes you just go through the motions...

Hopefully one can realize when that's actually happening, that there's no actual feeling there.

I started thinking about dating other people...

Oh he's cute, wonder if we could have a drink sometime...

It's not the thought that bothered me, it's that I really wanted to ACT on it.

Then there are our differences.

He's rather conservative.

I'm not.

Thinking that maybe it's a good thing, maybe it will bring us closer together since there are so many different things to learn about each other...

I think there were differences that, in the long run, would only tear us apart.

It would have taken a large amount of work.

I'm not afraid of putting forth a large amount of effort to make a relationship work, but this time, I had to pass.

With nothing to build on...the time it would have taken...

Sometimes, I felt like he was trying to control me, not in a vindictive way, but it was there.

I felt like I couldn't be myself.

I can't say things about certain experiences I've had, it will upset him.

Fuck that.

I have a lot of shit going on in my life right now, I don't need this kind of stress.

The last sign, the one that put the nail in the coffin, is that once I decided to break up with him, I was relieved!

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

A relationship should not feel like a burden.

To me, ours did.

So I had to let it go.

I'll miss you, I will.

But not for long.

If I regret it, so be it.

I have a right to be wrong. My mistakes make me strong.

Time to start the New Year...

A Suspicious Adventure

It's not quite 'Officially' winter yet, but that didn't stop that huge ass storm last week.

Y'know the one that was all over the news for knocking out power in shitty states like Oklahoma.

Well, we had a wicked ice storm here in central Iowa.

So wicked, in fact that I took the day off.

Er, was FORCED to...

Y'see, I got up sorta on time, Pi-time anytime, and was heading out to my garage about a quarter after 8...

In my high heels, bad idea.

My garage is in a building of other garages, and it's on a hill.

(Meaning I have to walk up-hill...)

In high heels.

On ice.

So I make the perilous journey to my garage without falling...punch in my Secret Garage Door Code and...

It starts to open.

Then stops about 6 inches off the ground.

It closes.

Damnit.

So I bang on it a bit.

And I almost fall.

Time to change the shoes.

Did I mention the freezing rain that was falling at the time?

Right. It was freezing rain, ice cold, ravaging my hair.

After the shoe change the trek to the garage was a piece of cake.

I brought a pair of scissors with me too.

To help get the ice off the door, der.

After much banging and scraping and whatnot I decide to assist the door on its way up

I push the code and quickly grab the handle and start to yank up on the damn thing.

Tried that several times...and it didn't help!!

So I give up and say to myself Oh, gosh darnit! I can't go to work today. What about calling someone to come pick you up?

Pfft. Like anything I have to do at work today is work someone risking their life to drive the 4 miles to pick me up!

I call in and tell them my garage door is frozen shut, so I won't be in!

Haha, suckers.

Well, this was a Tuesday so I had to work at Ye Olde Bowling Alley that night.

Tuesday is a great tip night.

Lots of dirty old men.

About 5 I decide to giver another try.

The first time I punch in the code the door goes up to about my waist!

I was soooo excited.

But, yeah, it stopped.

More punching of codes and helping the door along with a good yank on the handle...

It never gets as far up as my waist again, and it's making this noise like I'm breaking something.

Hmmm.

It's open about 14 inches....

So I crawl underneath it to see wtf is going on.

There's a bar from a box in the middle of the door extending out to the side and it's lodged in a hole in the track...

LIKE A LOCK!!

Holy shit, it's locked.

I somehow managed to lock my garage door when I was yanking on handles that morning.

I try my mailbox key cuz it looks about the right size.

Insertion. No turning.

Crap, what if that key that I thought was an extra mail box key on the ring of extra keys I gave to my friend for cat sitting is actually the garage door key?!

Yeah it totally is.

Ok.

Crawl back under the door.

At this point, it's dark outside and people are getting home from work.

Here I am crawling out from under my garage door, looking like I'm up to no good...

I examine the lock.

Can't figure out how to unlock it from the inside. The damn thing didn't have instructions, I pushed a lever around and nothing is happening...

Wait.

Fucking DER.

I crawl back out and go inside to retrieve a pair of pliers.

Scoot back under the door, I'm all snowy and dirty now...

Remove the bar that is the lock.

Voila!

I'm free!

And no one called the cops, not sure if I should be happy about that one or not.

Damn, I'm good.