Monday, December 29, 2008

Newsflash: Grief affects your judgement

Being totally head-fucked is the only rational explanation for my poor dating choice late last year

(At least that's what I'm telling myself)

It was about this time last year that I finally put an end to the whole thing

Yep, a few days after Christmas.

It's been a year so I figured it's time to tell all...

And I hate myself a little too when I think about it.

Why the hell was I so NICE?!

He's a pompous jackass, and I let him down easy


Because we work together. I figured even though we don't directly work with each other, we still occupy some of the same space 40+ hours a week

I wanted to avoid the weirdness...

So, what happened?

Like most things that go wrong, it happened in stages.

Ok, it all started one night when we went out to dinner.

We were having a good time, enjoying our burgers at Granite City

He freaked out.

He got all wide-eyed and starting babbling about me being a druggie

But....but NO, wait...You're a....a DRUGGIE?!

What the fuck are you talking about, I'm not a druggie.

But, but I don't want to think of you that way, you're not like that, are you? Drugs are so, so bad for you..

It basically went on like that for the rest of dinner.

He didn't say much the rest of the night, only that he needed to think about stuff.


I later found out that he doesn't even take ibuprofen or aspirin, he prefers to handle things 'the natural way' cause anything else will pollute you.

Egh, he got over it, or so he said...

Right, I know, should have dumped him for his behavior and crazy ideas.

Strike two came one night when we were watching Heroes and I commented on how hot and tasty Hayden Panettiere is and how I wanted to do naughty things to her...

Normally, guys are all over a comment like this, and start asking probing questiones

He was all over it, but in a different way.

More of a priestly concern laced his question.

Cue freak out number two.

That's disgusting. Oh my god, are you gay?

That is so wrong, I can't believe you've done that

He was being absolutely serious.

I belive Pornography came up in this discussion too

To which he replied Pornography is disgusting. It's like watching two animals fuck.

Ok, so watching Animal Planet is the same as porn?!

Basically, we are different kinds of players in the game of life.

I'm on the field actually playing, participating in life.

He's on the sidelines, watching, learning from everyone's mistakes.

That may do the trick for some people, but I say How Boring.

Sure, learning by doing and making your own mistakes may be sometimes be considered 'the hard way' but, so what?

There's plenty of fun to be had in all of life's experiences, even if, in hindsight, it was a mistake.

The last straw is pretty much laid out in
this post, but the one little thing I left out, the thing that was said that cannot be unsaid, well, he sat down on the bed next to me, looked me straight in the eye and called me a whore.

Yes, really.

A week or so after that, he sent me flowers at work.

The card said Let's talk.

Soooo what do you want to talk about?

Well I wanted to let you know that I've decided to accept you for who you are.


A little late for that, don'tcha think?

I hadn't planned on ever explaining this whole thing but I heard a few things about him last week that prompted me to tell the world about how strange I think he is

Apparently in the last year, his social skills haven't improved

A few coworkers were on a volleyball team, naturally they head out for drinks afterward

He rates women. He says he's never met a woman above a six. And if she is above a six there has to be something wrong with her, like she's dumb or a complete bitch.

There were guys at the table that I would consider assholes and they all just sat there and didn't back him up...

Right, so he's a pig too.

In reality, he's one of those people that is so over the top homophobic that he's probably gay.

Ahhh, it's nice to finally get that out!


Christopher said...


That boy was so incompatible with you I'm surprised that you stayed with him for so long!

I agree with you about different methods of playing the game of Life. Some people do. And some people talk about the people who do. The doers enjoy their lives so much more... and they are a lot more fun to be around ;p

Oh, and even though I live over here in DC, I'm a card carrying mug club member of Granite City... just in case I'm ever visiting your area (and in anticipation that they open one on the east coast... one can dream can't he?)

Spicy Little Pi said...

I'm shocked as well, every time I see him I remember all the idiotic things he said and it infuriates me!


Maybe you should find some business partners and open one...

(or come for a visit!)