Sunday, September 16, 2007, approximately 7:30pm

I'm doing my nails, watching the Patriots game...

My phone rings.

It's my brother.

Odd.

It's either really good or really bad, he never calls 'just to talk'

I answer and immediately know something is wrong...

My brother is hysterical.

I just talked to Chris, (stepmom) she's at the hospital, it's dad, it doesn't look good, they said to prepare ourselves for the worst...

Ohmygod, what happened?!

I think it was a heart attack. I'll call you when I hear more...

Where are you?

I'm on my way home.

Chicago? Or your place?

My place.

OK, calm down, I'm going to leave as soon as I can, ok, just hold on...

I'm nervous, shaking, trying to wrap my head around what my brother just said.

I can't remember where my weekend bag is...

I call JMax and leave a frantic message, My dad had a heart attack, I'm leaving as soon as I can, I need to look after my cats.

I call my mom....no answer.

I'm running around my place, head spinning, I can't focus.

My phone rings

It's my brother again...

He's sobbing

Steph...Dad passed away.

I sat down and cried and told him I'd be home as soon as possible.

I threw a couple of things into a bag, hesitated as I reached for black clothing.

Trying to keep it together.

On my way out, I decide to call more people to see if I can drop off a spare key to someone that lives closer than JMax (he's 40 miles away)

Not one person answers.

Not even my creepy older upstairs neighbor.

Frustrated, I get in the car and head to the gas station, it's about 8:30

I'm still shaking.

My brother calls again.

He's a little more under control...

Don't come tonight, there's nothing we can do, it's not safe, just leave tomorrow.

No no, I've already left, I'm coming tonight.

I only received two return phone calls.

I told them the news and that I couldn't talk, I need to focus on driving.

That was the longest the drive has ever felt, even though I did it in record time

4 and a half hours, one bathroom break, one full tank of gas.

I had a lot of time to think....

About the things that I'll never be able to do with my dad.

Walk me down the aisle at my wedding.

Bounce his grandchildren on his knee.

Push it away.

You need to make it home in one piece.

I arrive at my mother's house at 1am.

The doors are locked, even the screen door in the back.

I ring the doorbell repeatedly and pound on the door.

She finally answers.

Mom.....dad died, I sob into her shoulder...

What?! Oh my god...

She's really out of it.

She took a sleeping pill and went to bed early.

My brother arrives about an hour later from Champaign.

More later...