Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Odorous Bunch

We've all passed them by, or even met them, and we've all definitely smelled them.

They are members of The Odorous Bunch.

Not as jolly as the Brady Bunch, and they number much more than 8...

There may be one sitting in your office...or even...in your home! GASP

might even be one.

They are the people that bathe in perfume or cologne, it could be they don't have a sense of smell.

Or that they do and they splash it on in an effor to cover their potent natural musk.

Old Ladies make up a large part of this club. They smell foofy and flowery and generally make you want to hurl. Their stench is characterized by the tendency to linger for at least 15 mintues.

Then there're the Rico Suaves of the world. You'll run into them wherever posers hang out. They sport tight shiny shirts and little pony tails. They make women swoon, and not in a good way.

Another prominent member of this prestigious of groups is the Deodorant Hound. Typically older men and if young, skeezy. Their natural male musk is enhanced by some variety of Old Spice or Speed Stick. The result is a cross between rhino piss and a locker room after gym class.


These people have only one use as far as I'm concerned.

Their stench can kill insects within a 5 foot radius.

So next time you have that Barbeque, invite Grandma and the skeeze down the street.

Ok, Grandma, I need you to stay right here on the edge of the deck. Tino, (what else would they be named?!) I need you over here...

Tell her she'll be out of the way of the blowing grill smoke and the mis-guided teenagers of the group....and guys like Tino.

Presto! No need for that pesky bug zapper, tiki torches, or citronella candles.

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