Thursday, February 22, 2007

Your Crisis Annoys Me.

There are all kinds of cars in the underground garage at home.

big ones little ones red ones blue ones etcetc

There are a few that stand out.

Like the dark orange chevy-thing.

And the 2 pearl escalades.

(how the fuck do they park those things around the columns?!)

there's the douche 2 spaces over with the big white chevy that accidentally parked in my spot once.

And then there's Mid-life Crisis Guy.

A Red T-Top Corvette.

Not a newer one.

Not by a long shot.

It has curves.

It's a Stingray.

Then, behind it, is a motorcycle.

A Harley, I presume.

I've seen this pair parked in no less than 3 other spaces in the garage.

And now they're right next to me.

For some reason it's fucked up my backing-into-my-spot-cuz-it's-easier-to-pull-out skills.

For awhile, it was a red pontiac.

Then a few different trucks.

Big ones.

Generally all stuff much bigger than me.

I had no problem backing into a space next to a humongous truck.

A truck that took up 99% of its parking space!

Meaning I had little room for error.

But now, I have problems.

I damn near took off my driver's side mirror 2 nights ago.

nevermind that i was exhausted and it was 12.35am...

My spot is now HUGE.

And I'm backing in all crooked.

This bothers the fuck out of me.

There are already plenty of women that can't park a car worth a shit, and don't even TRY asking them to parallel park or back into a space . . . I'm doing all women everywhere a service with my awesome parking skills!

If this continues, I'm going to scratch the ever-loving shit out of the driver's side of my car because I'm trying to avoid scratching Your Precious Baby.

Whatever. Even if I do, I'll just leave a note:

Stupid old guys with their Life-Crisis and buying toys they REALLY wanted like 30 years ago.

Seriously, that car has DUST on it!

No excuse for that since it's been super-nice the last couple of days.

At least wash the damn thing!

Ok. I'm done.

Wash it.


ATL LG said...


props because you back in ( I back in to ANY spot 99.9% of the time ) and I also appreciate your concern for the guys toy(s) BUT WAIT a Frigg'n minute ( gave up curse words for lint...god should have already sent a bolt on me 50 times ...anyway )! You say it's all dusty? Then he ain't ( it's a Southern thing gotta use it for good stuff like this ) no car guy. I'm a car guy. I got two BIG trucks. They are both cleaned pretty regular. He just sucks.

Do this pull on the OTHER side the side you never park on and give it a good wack. He'll move it somewheres else. Problem solved.

Hey, sorry haven't been around in a while. Have a great weekend. (It's nice out. I'm ALREADY planning some truck wrenching cause I AM a REAL car guy )

Spicy Little Pi said...

hehe ATL!

you've been too busy cropping and enhancing your HNT pics!

scandalous!! (yes, I've been enjoying them not so secretly...)

Maybe I'll leave him a note about not being manly enough to own toys like that!

Enjoy the nice weather, we're set for freezing rain or some shit - iowa: wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

RyeGuy said...

I don't have that problem (since I smashed up my car 2 months ago).

But there's a really sweet Audi Quattro TT in my buddy's parking complex that hasn't moved since I can remember seeing it. It doesn't bug me, though, because it's a nice car; what bugs me are the penises and words people draw in the dust. That scratches the paint!