Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Can't sleep, clowns will eat me...

I went to bed annoyed last night.

I woke up at 3:37am.

I've been waking up in the 3 o'clock hour everyday during the week for 2 weeks now.

Then I had this strange dream about being on vacation with either my mother or my coworker that's old enough to be my mother and seeing this HUGE bug just hanging out not ten feet from either of us...

But it looked fake.

It had duct tape on it.

I turn and start to walk away and then feel it land on my back.

It's on me! It's on me!

Then I woke up and could still feel the spots where it's legs had touched my back.

Sounds stupid, but it really creeped me out.

That was at 4:59am.

At 5:40 I finally gave up trying to go back to sleep.

When I did wake up, I realized I'm still afraid of the goblins under my bed.

I made it to work an hour early.

Why was I annoyed?


Several things.

One of them being that I saw 2 pregnant women smoking last night.

The one has been trying to get pregnant for 4 years and finally conceived.

The other, well, not exactly planned. (and she already has a child, not planned either)

Now, I don't want to be judgmental or anything (heaven forbid)

But I am.

I may not know you extremely well.

But that really ticked me off.

Then it was really sad.

You try for so long to get pregnant, you finally do, then you don't even try to quit smoking!?

Retard.

I think babies are gross and the thought of something actually growing inside of me creeps me out.

(so work up to it, start with something small, he said, like a tapeworm)

But I'll prolly have kids someday, and be more responsible while pregnant. (besides, can't let these genes go to waste!)

And the other one, the kid may have been an accident, but you chose to keep it anyway.

Good for you.

Then you punish the poor thing by smoking.

Yes, you're my friend. Yes, I'll help and be supportive whenever I can. But it bothers me and I can't hide it.

I also can't do anything about it.

Sure I can show you pictures of what smoking does to a baby.

Or give you literature on the subject.

But I can't make you quit smoking.

Or dump the loser that knocked you up.

Those are choices for you to make.

I'm just your friend.

A bystander.

10 comments:

Christopher said...

Have either of them seen this picure yet?

http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/pregnant.asp

Spicy Little Pi said...

lol that picture came to mind when I was writing this one!

I almost posted it.

Thing about that picture is, we know what smoking does to an unborn child, but not the effects, if any, of construction noise.

oh deep thoughts...make brains hurt!

Leafs Fan said...

Can't sleep, clown will eat me. Can't sleep, clown will eat me...

Mind Maelstrom said...

I thought it was just me... I just want to smack pregnant women when I see them smoke or drink. Might as well slap her face for doing it--at least it wouldn't hurt the baby ;).

And the fuck is that multi-legged thing exactly, a modern-day successor to the trilobite?! I know I'm not sleeping tonight after seeing that... with or without duct tape.

PatZ said...

looks like someone should read Insomnia.

ATL LG said...

OK (along with MM) if I have a dream tonight about THAT big ass bug I'm gonna be pissed!

And to expand on MM's comment about smacking pregnant smokers I say there should be a law written and passed that would provide for the slapping the cig out of the mouth of any pregnant woman.

Hell, I'd take a weeks vacation so I could drive around and do that!

Spicy Little Pi said...

Well to ease your curious minds, that there monstrous thing is a giant pill bug.

Amen to the slapping of cigs out of the hands of pregnant women! Maybe we can all take a little road trip with ATL and have ourselves a grand ol time :)

Patz - I haven't read that one yet, but I will once I'm done with THE STAND...which might be a few months...

Jetson Stamina said...

Can't beat tapeworms! Natures diet helper.

RyeGuy said...

I saw a dude in Africa who had a tapeworm. They got it out by holding a raw steak over his mouth and letting some of the blood run down his throat. The tapeworm crawled up his throat and out his mouth. Then he puked. The thing was probably 1/2 a meter long. Ick.

I wish YouTube was invented... I totally woulda posted it.

Spicy Little Pi said...

lol Jets!

Rye that's GROSS!!

I totally woulda watched it on YouTube.