Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Old & Resistant

We have two part-time receptionists. Why? Because then we don't have to fork out full-time benefits. Sad, but true. Parent Company is a bank after all....

The morning receptionist is a nice lady that also whores herself out to Mary Kay.

She still has frilly hair from the 70s. Exactly like Debra Jo Rupp aka Kitty Foreman.

She'll actually do mundane tasks if we ask her to; which we do.

The afternoon receptionist, Barb, well she is the epitome of The Old & Resistant.

We all know Old People don't like change. Why do you think they drive so slowly, the speed limit doesn't mean a damn thing to them. 'It was 45 in my day, so it'll always be 45.' (The poor eyesight and slow reflexes are just a cover.) You get so old and you just don't care anymore.

When it comes to stashing them away in an old folks home, beware, the sudden change could kill them, no kidding. Just like fish in my aquarium, you dump too much cold water into their nice 82 degree home and they go belly-up.

Once they're old enough, there's no use for arguing.

Barb is one of those. At the ripe old age of 83, she has but 3 skills:

1. Answering the phones

2. Being a really sweet old lady

3. Playing Solitaire

ANYTHING, and I mean anything, outside of those 3 skills, and she will balk like it's her fourth skill. Actually I think it is in her skill set...

She will flat out, up front, DENY doing anything. It was a production just to get her to stuff envelopes.

I respect her for being such a Steadfast Old Hag, however annoying her inefficiency.

Here's to you, Barb, for being a sweet old lady, yet being able to call upon your Inner Bitch-Hag when work comes a knockin.

I hope one day, if I make it that far, that I, too, can be paid to only answer phones and play solitaire.

1 comment:

Spicy Little Pi said...

hah, after reading this...i'm a total bitch!

funny, i'm even having a great day...