Friday, June 30, 2006

Drunk Notes

There's nothing like the first time you see someone after a night out of being incredibly drunk.

They remind you about things that were said/done.

Things you weren't sure really happened...

BradMark, (whose name is Brad, but I always call Mark cuz I was drunk when I met him and he looked more like a Mark at the time) was reminded of such a thing last night.

We were out last Thursday for a birthday. We love Birthdays.

He was drunk out of his mind. We were about ready to leave the bar, heading towards the door even...

'HEY, we should make out!' he says to me...liquor thick on his nasty breath...

Um, I don't think that's a good idea...

C'mon! I just wanna make out...

I said 'no,' now let's go!

He stumbles a bit...You're a fuckin BITCH.

. . .

I told him about this last night. He was shocked, sorry, and extremely embarrassed. (I knew he was wasted, so I didn't really care, cuz I'm cool like that.)

'Oh man, and I think I called another girl a bitch that night too...'

haha....oops! good job there, chief.

Other things I heard during the drunken adventures of this week:

.....'I really think boobs are kinda boring. I mean, I can play with them for about 15 minutes, but that's about it...what's the big deal?! I'd rather just head south...'

::Ahem:: I like boobs more than that guy! (what a fag, no wait, they love boobs too...)

......You ever smell a stripper? They smell SO good. Like perfume and babypowder...(And the hairgel of the Douchebag sitting next to you)....I once said that to a girl and she was completely offended. (what an idiot)

Speaking of Strippers (again) A bowling buddy of mine told us a story...

I was wasted with my buddies at the titty bar, my friend and I were getting private dances...

My stripper finished up and said, 'Ok that's 80 bucks.'

Um. What?! Hey man, how much is she charging you?

She said 30.

Mine wants 80!
Hey, this is crap we both came down here at the same time and he's only paying 30, why are you asking for 80?

Cuz I'm not a little slut like she is.

Oh. Whatever. (He handed her 30 bucks and left.) which reminds me of:

......I'm not a slut! I'm an opportunist.

Right. Equal Opportunity STD factory. Gotcha.

Check this out. I've been scarred for life and I feel dirty.

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