Office Banter

Since the weather is finally warming up and staying warm, the Office Banter has taken a turn from 'My kid is graduating High School' and 'My daughter is dating a loser' and 'damnit my kid is coming home from college' to 'I HATE that guy! That guy with the lawn.'

The Perfect Lawn Guy.

There's at least one on every block.

Being the blessed 'Youngun' at the office, I still rent. I do not own a lawn mower. I do not own a rake. I do not own lawn refuse bags.

Lawn and Pi do not mix.

I'd spend all my time trying to figure out the perfect way to do it and if I could make a cool geometric pattern...(ahem) Geek....

So now they're all bitching about Perfect Lawn Guy...'Damnit, NOW I have to start the landscaping...take the wife to Home Depot...get some frickin mulch...'

So I lean back and smile, 'Hmm that's too bad...think I'll go out and get drunk tonight.'

They hate that. They have kids, and kids do stuff. Like golf lessons, dance, softball, baseball, choir, soccer, etcetc. Which means they drive minivans (Gasp, oh the horror!)

I have cats. Cats don't do shit. I feed them, I pet them, end of story.

Speaking of mowing lawns, as I sit here in my cube, my Fortress of Solitude, I look out the window at the perfect day and see a guy riding on a mower, going around in circles...

I'm surrounded by stacks of paper that are deemed 'important.' My eyes are going to fall out of my head from staring at statements all day.

He's riding around in the beautiful weather, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, enjoying the smell of freshly cut grass...

And who has it made again?

Why couldn't I embrace my natural mexican urge to mow lawns instead of college and an office job. . .