Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I ain't no 1k trick!

Brandy QueenGay bar night x2 for this past weekend!

Manwhore, JMax, and I took in a drag show up close.

Not sure I'd recommend that.

I was distracted by the size of her feet.

I swear those things were a size 15!

It's amazing how they can move in those heels.

Much better than some women I've seen . . .

I think we danced but I'm not totally sure since we were DRUNK.

Hit the after-hours club for whatever reason.

We ended up sitting with the Mexicans.

That's cool, we got a representative!

Thanks, guys.
About 4.00isham...and an idea occurs.

First one in a long time!



Eggs Benedict.

The most delicious plate known to man was set in front of me.

Apparently we were loud and obnoxious.

(I don't really remember.)

Pretty sure we colored and then ripped our place mats to shreds.

Passed out around 5.30am...

Which is damn impressive considering we'd been drinking and it was the end of a very long week!

Saturday, we got our Happy on.

But only after laying around all day watching tv and swearing off alcohol.

Then I got Pretty.
what tilt
You better 'preciate this picture!

Those curls took me an hour!

Manwhore convinced me to wear bright red lipstick to match one of the shirts I was wearing...

Then we went to dinner and experienced An Awkward Moment.

I opened the door to the stairwell as a couple reached the top of the stairs.

They stopped dead in their tracks and just stared at me.

Her eyes went all wide.

His jaw dropped.

After what seemed like a minute I finally said
'Excuse us...'

Manwhore came up with some story about how they MUST have chatting about having a threesome and how would they EVER find someone to join them and then BAM I walk through the door!

It was really odd.

So what are we doing tonight, Brain?

Let's go back to the Garden!

Where Adam and Steve make a home.

But I don't want to go back there tonight! Let's go to the straight bar!

Manwhore likes to complain cuz he looks like a Twink.

He's always being hit on at the Gay Bar.

And I guess it starts to bother him after awhile. . .

I'm tired of guys grabbing my ass and roofie-ing my drinks!

We told him to suck it up and take it like a man!

And went anyway.

We are perched above the dancefloor, enjoying the lights, the beat, and the way people dance.

There's always that one drunk straight chick that HAS to get in the cage and infect it with terrible white-girl gyrations.

Stupid cunt.

After a little bit, I notice this older guy.

He's standing next to me and staring at Manwhore.

And there's an even older, creepier guy next to him staring at him while he's staring at Manwhore...

I go to the bathroom and guess what. . .

He's talking to Manwhore when I get back!

OMG you'll never believe this!

What, Manwhore?

That guy wants to give me $1,000 to go back to his hotel room! WHAT?! He already gave me $100 . . .

For what?

Just to talk.

So what are you going to do?

I dunno, he said he has a room at the Embassy Suites and would give me $1,000 just to walk through the door...I don't have to DO Anything, he said. Yeah, right. He probably has a glass already laced with roofies in his room!

Wait, is he a top or a bottom?

Does it really matter?!

Well . . . it's an easy grand. . .


okok . . .geez.

So Manwhore sat next to the guy all night and kept him company.

After awhile JMax and I started to get freaked out and decided Manwhore wasn't going anywhere without us.

I know, I know! He just wants some company. At least it's keeping all the other guys off of me!

lol thing is, Manwhore isn't gay!

JMax started asking around, and EVERY gay man he asked about the proposition would TOTALLY have done it.

But did you ask any straight men?

um...no, guess not.

After we left, Manwhore gave us more details.

PayforSexGuy is married and has a 20 yr old daughter.

He's from Illinois and already got laid earlier in the day.

His wife's a lesbian and doesn't have a problem with him 'being away on business'

Wouldn't it be cool if I could hit up his daughter too?

Holy fucked up, Batman.

We were amused by the situation.

Off to the after hours club again!

It was Little Mexico and Whore Heaven Night.

I couldn't walk across the place to the bathroom without 5 Mexican dudes trying to stop me and chat, and a little pat on the ass on the way back.


There were sluts on the bar, in the cages, and on the pole in the middle of the dancefloor.

his downer gf, Manwhore's latest toy, and a pretty little Twink met us there.

Manwhore took one look at Twink and said, OMG, I can't compete with THAT!

Relax, he's gay.

Oh, whew, good.

A couple fights broke out, people were handcuffed and thrown out, we were tucked away in a corner playing with squishy things that light up, hidden by a wall of Mexicans.

It was pretty neat.

They made our little corner a sort of VIP section just by standing in front of us.

We rock.

The place cleared out without us noticing, so we left around, i dunno 4.30?

We watched videos and the sun come up.

Another weekend sacrificed to the Fun Gods.


Leafs Fan said...

Gay bar...some guy I know opened his own gay bar.

Christopher said...

I've heard of trying to get a mother-daugher combo... but a father-daughter combo??

Hmmm... well, there is that $1k incentive.

Still... probably not worth it...

unless the 20 year-old daughter is a super-hottie...

but then there's the whole "catching" issue.

Yeah... I'd pass.