I. am. a. tomato. (random shite)

Hey let's sit in the sun have some brews, chill out

Great idea.

Until it turns into 3 slightly drunk people talking loudly about inappropriate things at an apartment complex pool surrounded by families with small children

All while smoking and eating which is against 'the rules'

For three hours.

I have sunburn.

A mean one.

It bites.

Talk about embarrassingly painful.

Now I have the pleasure of slathering Aloe Vera all over myself.

Sexy.

Friday, JMax and I hit 'the hottest club in downtown Des Moines'

Right, sluts everywhere.

It was heaven. Again.

Ran into this guy, Jack, all dressed in 80s garb and dancing like a stripper.

Naturally, I took a picture with him.

Saturday it was more of the same except our heads were full of pills instead of tequila.

Then I learned something.

Something about Gay Des Moines Nightlife.

It's called the Gay Loop or Fruit Loop...

Some little strip where people go ::ahem:: 'shopping' late at night

I couldn't have cared less what the fags were up to, I was having my own little party in the back seat.

Then it was off to the cabin where Twinky humped the hell out of Stacy Switchblade.

And I got a handful of titty!

Seriously, these things are like F CUPS.

Add to that being fascinated by the tininess of a 19 year old virgin at the party, and you have a good molest-y time

Withdrawal isn't the easiest thing to deal with, the mood swings are dramatic and can cause things like acting like a silly female and freaking out over the smallest things.

The thing you said you would just let go, cuz there are tons of other bitches that do that crap and you ain't one of em

One of my coworkers seems happier than usual.

Maybe she's getting sex.

That stuff really makes a difference.

And then someone calls you a 'Quadra-freak'

I'll take that as a compliment.

We're planning on hitting Trek Fest XXIII in a couple of weekends.

Why?

Who wouldn't want to wander around drunk in 'The Official Future Birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk' while making fun of a bunch of freaky Trekkies from all over the world?!

Not me.

I am all over that like a fat chick on a late night buffet.

I...NEED....another....beer.

To make it better, we just might dress up like Star Wars characters and feign stupidity.

Closing is in 9 days.

OMGdon'tfreakout.

I'm not. cool as a cucumber.

covered in strawberry lube...

I mean..I'm going to junk out at Home Depot today after work!

Wandering through the many isles of home improvement bliss, drooling...