I listened to some Dane Cook the other night. That's some funny ass shit! I highly recommend it!
He started talking about this massive erection he had that just wouldn't go away...he was in his kitchen, looked over and spotted a bowl of mixed nuts...not sure how he decided it would be a good idea, but he pushed down on his rod and placed a cashew right on the head.
Why a cashew? Because it's curved! It has this natural ability to stay nestled on the tip...it's Nature's Dirty Little Secret, he let go and the nut popped up and he caught it in his mouth - first try!
I'd like to know if this actually works...I mean, look at that little guy, he's ready to go!
In other news, while working over the weekend, there was some shit slinging....and not just your regular 'ole mud slingin', I'm talking NASTY here...
Then Kadina whipped it out...
WAIT, Let me tell you about Kadina: she is 18, about 5'3", and just oh-so-I'd-never-hurt-a fly-adorable....so for these words to come from her seemingly virginal mouth is just SHOCKING...
She turned to Jenny, a sassy shit-slinger herself, narrowed her eyes, and spat, "You Fat-Ass Blood Gorged Vagina!" Jenny's eyes went wide, and she was taken aback...silence fell, and we just looked at each other, trying to understand what just happened...my work here is done.
SpiPi: corrupting America's youth, one at a time...
UPDATE: I talked to Kadina and she actually said "Blood Belching Vagina" which is even grosser...after further discussion, we agreed that we also liked "Blood Bulging Vagina."
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