Random Sayings & Happenings

A few funny giblets from the last few days:

We decorated a Christmas tree. A Naughty Christmas Tree. One of the best ideas I've ever had!

Recipe:
Ingrediants: Multi-colored Sharpies, one Christmas tree, plain glass ornaments, your perverted friends

Instructions:Give perverted friends sharpies and ornaments. Write dirty things on ornaments.

Some favorites: Twat Waddle, and Taint: the other white meat.

Pickles. They are cucumbers that sold their souls. There are lots of pickle-haters in this world. If they started to rally together their motto would be Dill is the Devil I love pickles. To all you pickle-haters, look out, cuz I am:

I'll get you in your sleep!

Is this cool or what:

I'm sitting here wasting time; I haven't done a lick of work all day, in fact I almost passed out during our meeting this morning. I was introduced to this really cool gaming site. I downloaded one of my all-time favorite games from childhood: The Lost Vikings. I'm listening to music, checking email, IMing, and playing this game all at once, when my manager comes into my cube. The first thing she says is, "Wow is that Lost Vikings?!"

"Sure is."

Then she told me about how her family loved to play that game and with a passion, I might add. Then she left. "Oh yeah, came by to tell you I'm copying you in on an email about something you probably won't even have to worry about until next week."

"Ok, thanks." And she was gone. I guess I looked like I was being productive...

This is grossly funny:

I just returned from a trip to the restroom. While I was in there, the lady in the next stall received a call on her cell. She answered. She tinkled really slow. Right before the automatic flush kicked in, she acted like she was losing the call and hung up.

I joined her at the sink, and just as she finished drying her hands, her phone rang. This is what she said:

"Oops, sorry, I lost ya there." Amazing.

Maybe we should just relocate to the bathroom all together...

I give you the Future in Office Furniture