Friday, December 30, 2005

The S Curve

I have this knack. It could even be considered a talent.

Or maybe I just like looking at crotches.

My name is Spi Pi,
and I am a Crotch Watcher.

If a guy is wearing jeans that fit just right - y'know, a little snug around the naughty bits - I can take a look at said crotch and tell which side pedro is preferring that night.

I don't look at crotches just for this reason, but sometimes it's hard not to notice!

Well, I was at the bar last night, and I noticed that one of my friends was wearing snug jeans:

"So, you're hanging to the left tonight?"

I usually get a questioning look, until they notice that I'm staring at their crotch.

"OH. (looks down) Um, yeah, I guess I am!"

From there the conversation Naturally moved on to masturbation...

The guys began to discuss how their dominant hand isn't always the best for a good yank. A few found their left hand to be better than their right, even though they are right-handed.

One guy said he could go either way.

Well, I HAD to encourage this kind of conversation, especially since we were drunk and talking loudly:

"Lube or Dry?"

Lube: 3 Dry: 1 Ok.

"So, if he's tending towards the left tonight, will you use your left hand?"

They all looked at me, intrigued. After a few moments of reflection:

"I never noticed that it leans to the side I like better!"

"Brilliant!" (x4)

Then we discussed the curve: the banana, inverted banana, or flagpole, and if they correlated to which side and/or preferred hand. There was some agreement found between the 3 Lubes.

Then we looked at the one guy that said he could use either hand for dry satisfaction.

"What do you want? I've got an S Curve!"


While looking for an image today I came across and these:

Hurry! You don't want to miss the pre-release specials-only available until Feb. 15!

Double-UPs™ + sloops® = Style + Comfort

WTF I say, W...T...F?


Deadpool said...

mine is traditionally to the left regardless of pant style

Spicy Little Pi said...

Most guys I've talked to are lefties....where are the righties?!

Maybe it's time to do a poll...