Monday, January 09, 2006

Grease me up, Scotty - I'm going in!

There's a little campaign here in Iowa, It's called Lighten Up (fat-ass) Iowa.

If you really want to know, go here.

If not, it's a program to motivate people to lose all of the fatness gained over the holidays (or a lifetime) which takes advantage of the good intentions that come with new year's resolutions.

There is a team comprised of my office mates.

I, in all of my wonderful I'm-still-young-enough-to-eat-what-I-want-and-stay-trim, *laziness * decided to forego the team.

I'm going to use this opportunity to taunt and torture them.

They came up with a Code of Conduct, which includes rules like: Only one alcoholic drink a day during the week (a few more on the weekends); fast food only once a week; only 12 oz of a caffeinated drink everyday (coffee drinkers faint) ; workouts, etc. etc.

I'm going to drive the 1000 feet to the nearest Mc Donald's and get a fat Big-Mac with extra toppings, and a large fry.

The smell is sure to fill the office with greasy hunger-pangs...which will send them running to the refridgerator which is stocked with caffeine free diet pop and vegetables. Alas, no comfort there.

So I will sit in my cubicle, which is more centrally located than the break room, and mau down on my grease trap of a lunch, making sure that mayonnaise and/or ketchup is dripping down my chin every time one of them walks by.

And I will moan in fatty putrid ecstacy.

I'll do this on Friday, just to be sure they've all used up their once-a-week fast food pass.
wow, i'm a bitch, huh? this is going to be fun...::evil laughter::

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