Saturday, January 28, 2006

The Menu Concept

(I was going to post this on Monday, but I was at home dying on my couch...SO you get it today instead...)

I have a part-time job on the weekend. I work at a Sandwich Shop.

This Sandwich Shop has a menu, just like any restaurant.

Even though there's a menu to work off of, people still come up to the register and ask,

"Can I just tell you what I want on a sandwich?"

When we aren't busy, this isn't really a problem.

But Saturday, well, we weren't exactly slow. So when a family came in for their first time...

Cashier: Hey guys, what can we get for you?

Mother: Um, we've never been here before, can we just tell you what we want on a sandwich?

"Well, we have a menu that you can choose from and then let us know if you'd like to add or subtract from a certain sandwich."

::They glance at the menu::

"Go on boys, tell him what you want to eat."

They all order and the cashier does his best to put their orders into our format: #4, no mayo, with cheese for example. So we make their sandwiches...not five minutes later they come back.

"This is not what my sons wanted."

So we remake the sandwiches while their mother gives us all the evil eye.

Unfortunately, this happens all the time. Some think they just don't have the time to look at a menu and decide what looks good.

No, we don't have black olives. No, we don't have green peppers. No, we don't have hot sandwiches and NO WE DO NOT HAVE SOUP!!

We aren't fucking Subway. If that's what you really wanted, why didn't you go there?

There's one down the street. Please, get your dumb ass out of our store.

How fucking smart do you have to be to eat at our shop?!

Apparently smarter than what we give our customers credit for.

You can NOT see our ingrediants because you are supposed to choose a number and if you don't like tomatoes, ask us to leave them off.

It's that simple.

In fact, that's the beauty of our Sub Shop, IT'S SIMPLE. We limit your options so we can make your sandwich in less than a minute.

We have a menu for a reason. Please use it, it's not like it's hard to read, it's the 10 foot by 6 foot board on the wall.

If you refuse, then we reserve the right to abuse your food and take a long time doing it.

You've been warned.

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