The Chad Story

Once upon a time there lived 2 Chads: Geek Chad, and Cool Chad.

They were roommates. (hence the distinction)

They liked to party.

ALOT.

One night, the Pi was hanging out at a different set of bars, but we were all going to have after-hours at The Chad Pad.

I show up, and a few people are drinking in the parking lot, a few in the apartment, it was cold out so it broke up a bit early.

Then I noticed that Cool Chad was nowhere to be found.

Geek Chad: Oh? He's passed out in the back of my car.

But it's fucking cold outside!

He's out cold, I figure he'll be alright.

Is he at least sitting upright?

Yeah, I think so.

I'm going to go get him. We can't just leave him out there!

GREAT IDEA, Pi.

Geek Chad had a red Oldsmobile Achieva Coupe.

The Geekmobile.

Cool Chad was passed out in the backseat.

Fucking great.

It's 30 degrees outside, he's passed out cold in the backseat of a 2 door car, and I'm drunk.

I should've just let him be. But I'm too nice.

I go out to the car, climb in next to him and start shaking him a little...

Nothing.

Slap him. Hard.

Nothing.

After a little more of both, my hand hurt and he was sorta awake...drooling, babbling something

I was probably in the car for a good half-hour.

Cool Chad was in the Army. He was a buff mother fucker.

I am but a cute girl. Talk about a daunting task!

Getting his ass into the apartment, and then up the stairs was a buzz-killing challenge. By then he was babbling something about how I'm such a good friend and having to piss.

So I helped him into the bathroom, asked him if he'd be alright and he said yes...

So I left, closing the door behind me.

I went downstairs to talk to Geek Chad's sister...not half-way down the stairs, I hear a crashing sound...

I go back up to the bathroom...

Open the door...

Cool Chad had fallen backwards into the bathtub, with his pants hanging open, and had pissed on the wall, the floor, and a little on himself.

Well, that's just fucking great.

As drunk as he is, he manages to stand up and get his pants on.

I help him to his room, and he just sits down and falls backward.

Then he pissed himself.

Again.

So I took off his jeans. (I'm so NICE)

Naturally, this wakes him up.

But not for long.

The next morning, he didn't remember a god damn thing.

But he was curious about being pantless.