Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Home Smell

You know that smell. It makes you feel comfy.

You open the door, returning after a long hard day at work in your cube, and then

W H O O S H

That smell washes over you and whatever creatures are awaiting your return rush to greet you....

You can tell when people have dogs from that smell.

What they've been cooking...

Their favorite candle even!

I used to love my home smell.

Now it sucks.

It's not like I smell or anything...

Wait...(pit check...)

Nope, fine.

Speaking of pit checks, one time at the bar the Jilted Love Monkey decided that she smelled so she went to the bathroom and cleaned up...Only her pits were soaking wet when she left.Like dripping. Didn't smell, but looked like she was Pitting Out (to the MAX)Nice going, Love Monkey.

Anyway, the management of the complex has been updating certain apartments.

Like mine.

They put in wood floor. Not the real stuff.

The fake stuff. The slippery as hell stuff.

The Glue-It-Yourself-Stuff.

THE DAY BEFORE I MOVED IN.

My Home Smell is that of Floor Glue.

And occasionally cat box.

Even after cooking a deliciously pungent meal, the glue prevails.

I'm going to have to spill perfume er some shit to mask it...

What's a girl to do?!

4 comments:

corrupted_hockey_fan said...

Invest in a nose plug, or a clothes pin if you want to be economical. Or if you want free, pinch the nostrils shut.

I've had to pinch mine shut around my 31 year old virgin flatmate ever since he crippled himself playing cricket on the weekend and can't even bathe himself...

I can't imagine this lasting another day let alone a week.

RyeGuy said...

well, I wouldn't recommend spilling shit...

why not grab a can of Axe spray and go spray-happy with that? works like a charm on the ol' soccer bag.

Spicy Little Pi said...

i usually just tough it out like a big girl, but every time i enter, it bugs me...

i couldn't use AXE cuz not only is it the l'eau de douchebag, what would my boy toys think?!

and if that stuff really does make me randy, i'd never leave the house anyway as i'd be paralyzed on the floor with my assortment of toys....

wait.

brb

corrupted_hockey_fan said...

LMAO.